"It's Not You, It's Me."

Have you ever done something entirely out of character, something u wouldn’t have thought u would do in a million years in fear of crossing your personal “red zones” but for some strange reason, u feel no guilt or remorse after , to the contrary , you feel excited and intrigued?!

Something even though sounds simple and normal for some, ends up changing you as a person, not because of “that something” per say , but because it makes you realize that you might not really know who you really are and what you are capable off?!

I had one of those “something” moments recently.

Back tracking a little here: 3 years ago I wrote a post (never been kissed) complaining to Saudi and the City readers about never being really kissed and contemplating the reasons behind it. I concluded the post with the following (in hindsight, naive) revelation; “A first kiss should be and with someone special because it will either be a moment I will cherish or regret forever , and I definitely want “That Thing”.

Fast forward back to the present: scrap everything I said earlier about waiting for that thing, that person ! More like jumping in with someone I barely know, and to make matters worse, the little that I do know about that person doesn’t fit into anything I am looking for. To make matters worser (it’s a word NOW), I have no intention of stopping!

To the contrary, I not only want to continue to cross my lines, I wanna skip and jump over them!! (Can’t stop singing Skip a dee doo, skip a dee day)

When that person realized my lack of experience and “Game” to say the least , he held back and asked me a question that resonated with me to a point that made me pick up my computer , write this post and get reacquainted with my beloved and sadly neglected blog.

He paused, and in an utter confused and slightly mortified tone asked “WHY ME”?

The question really caught me off guard and I didn’t know how to respond to it at the time! Why him, and what was so special about that particular person that he was able to push my limits, make me blow caution and reason to the wind ,surrender to the moment and yearn for more to come?!

As much as I would like to inflate that person’s ego and credit him for that transition, I sadly can’t! Not because he wasn’t special enough, he surely was…..still is…BECOMING MORE, but because the real person I have to credit for this momentous and very uncharacteristic shift was none other than this Dazed & Confused gal.

That person wasn’t the reason behind that change, more like the trigger to an inevitable bomb that was doomed to explode!

I have recently transitioned into a new phase of my life,one I am not particularly happy with. To make matters worsest (YES another WORD), I just realized that my 30s are swiftly creeping up and I have little to show for it :(

I haven’t lived , I haven’t messed up, I haven’t failed drastically to pick myself up. I haven’t done things that I am extremely proud of nor have i done things I extremely regret!

However, what really hit home 4 me was when I realized that I haven’t felt a passion that consumed me, a passion that makes me smile all day, a passion that makes my stomach turn unstoppably, a passion that makes me think inappropriate thoughts while I am at a meeting, a passion that paints a stupid shy grin on my face all day.

Throughout my 28 year of existence , I haven’t felt the passion I have always been aching to feel despite my religious constraints, despite my logic, despite my nature and despite what i believe is wrong and right.

I couldn’t risk not feeling that passion, those highs and lows.

I couldn’t risk missing the journey along my path because that journey despite its bumps and sharp turns is exciting, is beautiful and it makes u feel alive :)

If I had the ability to turn back time to the moment he asked me the infamous “WHY ME” question, I wouldn’t have panicked and I would have simply said; IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S ME.

Gives the phrase an entire new meaning, don’t you think?!

P.S : I did suck, so I stopped and asked for directions !!

P.S.S: NO PUN INTENDED !!!

The Ugly Truth

I won’t start this post apologizing for being away for so long and neglecting my baby and wasting your time with my lame thigh excuses. All I want you guys to know is that I am back with a vengeance and I hope to rekindle the relationship I had with Saudi and the City’s loyal readers :)

So WHY AM I BACK?????

I watched a brilliant and refreshing romantic comedy today “The Ugly Truth” that was anti cheesy and ohhhh so funny and enlightening :)

After I got home I just found myself opening Bella and starting to type away.

The cliffs notes version of the movie” gorgeous McUptighty girl looking for love. Mega hot McJerky wants to prove to the world that there is no such thing as love and that women should accept the fact that men are shallow sex driven animals. McUptighty loathes McJerky while he wants to get in her pants, they are stuck working together and strike a deal ….so McJerky helps McUptighty get lifted up “Literally” and land her neighbor McCharmy, McJerky then turns McSofty and Miss formally known as McUptighty dumps McCharmy for Reformd McJerky. ……. U GUYS STILL WITH ME?!!

This movie reconfirmed the so called myth that “Nice guys finish last” It’s sad but tough luck, they most defiantly do MOST OF THE TIME at least but not for the reasons most people think!!!

I was recently on a date with an extremely nice gentlemen who fits most “lists” perfectly, I even had a great time and there were no awkward moments at all but I couldn’t help but miss the “B Factor” you know what I’m talking about, Butterflies, Back and forth arguments, Back talking, boom boom pow , Bonanza , enough Bsssssssssss?!!!!! ( u get the point) I wanted my B factor DAMMIT …..why didn’t this guy tick my Buttons. Why didn’t he attempt to make fun of me so that I can top him with a witty come Back ??? (More Bs heheheh) Back to my point (sorry couldn’t help that last one !)

Why did he enjoy everything I had to say or at least pretended to , why didn’t he disagree with me, why did he have to be so predictable , why did he call to confirm before and arrive early, why was he PERFECT???????????

Am I listening to myself?????? I’m messed up ……. Here I am describing the perfect smart, witty gentlemen and all I can think of is why wasn’t he a jerk!!!

He deprived me of the right to bitch and moan and complain about how all men are “dogs” and that we women are better off alone! The existing theory on why us girls like the so called “Bad Guy” is that we like the idea of being sooo special that we actually tamed these wild horses. We get the ultimate ego boost of being fantabulous to a point that we were able to turn this wild beastly creature to a stallion anyone would be proud to ride (no pun intended)! That best of breed that will walk, trot, canter, and gallop at your demand yet maintains the allure of a stallion.

I on the other hand don’t think that’s it, even if most people do!! I have on of those Dazed and Confused theories on the way ……… oh ya u know u guys missed them , admit it……. Whatever I did :P

We go after the wrong people because we need someone to blame once it fizzles out.

Like Hell will we ever utter the words “it’s me not you” that’s ur line guys not ours!

We are very smart creatures that unconsciously manage to fool the person who knows us best into believing that there is no one out there that is amazing enough for us. We do that to protect ourselves from facing the truth that maybe things didn’t workout because of us, because God Forbid, we weren’t smart enough, pretty enough, were too controlling or were just plain boring ……

I think we do it because we need to feel superior, we need someone that has far more flaws than we do. We need to be able to feel and shout “I’m the Nuetella ” a.k.a the shit ( side note, who coined that stupid line…. Why would I use shit to validate how fabulous I am that’s stupid an I most definitely aint no shit (double negative, sue ME ) ……..i’m the Nuetella, the icecream, red velvet cupcakes, ….u get the idea pick what u love most and say it with me girls “ I’m a Nuetella” u guys can settle for shit or a good burp if that’s what rocks ur boats….MENTAL PICTURE !!!! )

Back to the post………We end up purchasing the flashy device everyone wants over and over again, The device we come to love and depend on till WHAM the warranty expires and the damn thing starts to fail us !!!!!! But why did this device die out???

Could it had been because we were too clumsy with it and kept abusing and dropping it everywhere, could it have been because we overused it and wouldn’t give it a break, or maybe it was due to the excessive bedazzling and changes we tried to make 2 it to “look better”????

NOP , we blame the manufacturer :P

So a note to u “ Nice Guys” we don’t necessarily pick the bad guy because he excites us more or because there is something inherently wrong with ur kind maybe due to excessive breastfeeding nature………maybe it’s due to us needing a hanger to mount all of our insecurities and faults on???!!!

DAMN I’m messed up but please think about it girls, I could be on to something here! Missed u all like chocolate ( don’t get the missed u like hell thing either !!).

Dazed is Out. .

If u can’t judge a book by it’s cover, can u judge it by it’s TOC?!

We all have this special someone in our lives that we know everything about yet don’t really know anything at all. Someone we crush over and secretly fanaticize about but not necessarily have any real feelings for!

OH don’t look at me like that…you know exactly who I’m talking about. I call them “Our It” people. (Not to be confused with cousin IT from the Adams Family, waaaay to hairy for my taste!!)

“Our It” people; the prom king and queen, the cute elevator girl, the cute doctor who can’t seem to diagnose the condition we don’t really have!!
Common guys, admit it. We all have one of those people in our lives, we just occasionally suppress them when we are preoccupied with other viable prospects.

We never really talk to “Our It” people because we put them on such high pedestals and idolize them to a point where we forgot that they are actually normal people who pee and pass gas just like the rest of us (sorry for the mental image guys. Just watched the episode of Sex and the City were Carry farts in front of Mr.Big in bed)!

Even though, we can never muster up the courage to talk to “Our It” people in person, we have this strange confidence that once we do actually establish contact that they were surely going to fall head over heals for our fabulous selves!

Well people, yours truly actually mustered up the courage to approach her “It person”!

The cover of that book was ohhh so fine to say the least; attractive, catchy, juicy and very promising. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said about its content!!

I knew the book had mixed reviews and was deemed a bit too R rated for my taste, but I couldn’t resist picking it up anyways to find out for my self!

Idiot, unmotivated, shallow, sexist, party animal are some of the words that come to mind. I honestly think this dude doesn’t have any goals or aspirations that transcend exercising the muscle that doesn’t rhyme with train, which I assume is the only functioning one this dude has!!!!!!!!

Am I being harsh, nasty even bitchy? Maybe, but this yummy idiot ruined the vision I had of him in a few minutes. Why couldn’t he just shut up and look pretty?!!!

Have u ever watched a kick ass movie commercial and gotten really excited about it only to get really disappointed once you actually watched the movie. Maybe because the movie was shit or because you expected way too much that there was no way for it to live up to your expectations?? Well…that’s exactly how I felt!

They say “you can’t judge a book by its cover” mainly because covers can be misleading and depend on how well they are marketed!
Personally, I say why not? A book’s cover is chosen by its author to reflect what the book is all about, and if it’s too vague, it’s table of content could do the trick!

Having said that, every once in a while you get a book u can’t help but pick up and read along with to see what it’s all about. That’s what I have decided to do, so I am currently attempting to read that book, very slowly and not that often but hey, at least I’m trying to read it :)

So far, not that interested but I don’t think I’m ready to put it down yet and move on, at least not until I find a book more interesting to read ;)

So tell me:
1- Would you judge a book by it’s cover , explain why or why not?
2- If you were to choose a book cover for urself , what would it be?
3- What cover of books attracts you the most ?

Shameless!!!!

It seems like I haven’t written a post in ages… over a month is ages in the blogsphere, Seriously, Seriously, SERIOUSLY!! (Me and my Grey’s Anatomy moments, sorry couldn’t help myself, btw, the new season starts airing again on the 24th of April, YAAAAAAAAAAY ☺ )

My apologies, but this Dazed and Confused gal has been swamped, preoccupied, depressed, unmotivated and now royally confused!!! (That’s a first!)

Nonetheless, I have decided to look at the brighter side of things and appreciate the new chapter of my life that is about to start soon, whish me luck guys :)

In attempt to inflate my somewhat deflated ego, I am gonna partake in a bit of shameless promoting…BARE WITH ME , this is gonna be a long one !

1- Over 10,000 hits yaaaaaaaaaay, looking forward to the next 10,000 (better get
cracking guys)
2- Saudi and the City is now tooting it. Toot is a selctive blog directory or at least i have
been told that lists diverse blogs from all around the Middle East. I was extremely
excited to be featured and encourage you to vote for Saudi and the City since voting
for myself isn’t landing me on the top 10 list !!!!
3- The always gracious The Seeker has been kind enough to award me with both the
thinker and you make my day awards. Thank you very much for always making my
day with such awards : )
4- Mr. Gabriel has written a review of Saudi and the City and posted on his blog. I was
suuuuuuper excited when he mentioned that to me and i rushed to his blog to read
my review. Surprise surprise, it was in GREEK !!!
being the self centered gal that i am , i had him translate his amazing and well
thought of review fetured below :)

She is Dazed and Confused just like her bloggish nickname : Dazed and Confused or DC as she signs. And how could she not be dazed and confused since she graduated from an American university and having no other choice but to obey her parents and the socioreligious status quo she had to return to her birthplace in Saudi Arabia just a year ago.

Has anyone of us ,actually, ever thought that it is illegal to drive because of your gender, to go out without an escort because of your gender, not to have anywhere to go out at night because of your gender, to run the risk of getting arrested because of the way you’re dressed?
The Dazed had to deal with all this and still does everyday and –as she writes- she would have gone off her head if she wouldn’t find her emergency exit through .. blogging.

No, this isn’t about a blog that depresses you. On the contrary, the only thing DC is left with (and that obviously is her most powerful weapon) is her effortless humor, confused (that , too) with frequent deathly thoughts. Every post is for us a window overlooking a financially powerful society that suffocates its citizens with its own wealth. Is it an oxymoron? Yes, at first sight, it is.

Her first posts were bitter and angry to some extent. Her studies granted her a comfortable life but at the same time predetermined, too. Despite all this, she isn’t so critical about her country’s leadership as she is about the citizens themselves, including herself too. “We are being controlled because we allow them to control us and are unwilling to stand up and fight for what we believe in and really want. We are too comfortable with the ways things are and aren’t willing to step away from our comfort zone to pursue a life and a dream we know nothing about”

So, in her first post she made a list of the 101 THINGS SHE WANTS TO DO BEFORE SHE DIES which I have copied word to word putting in bold letters the wishes that have a high degree of difficulty, in case she would like to fulfil them then.

1. adopt an orphan for each child I give birth to
2. attend a film premier
3. attend NYC's fashion week
4. become a famous international actress and win an award
5. become a hacker
6. become the first female president of Saudi Arabia
7. bid on something ridiculously expensive during an auction then pretend that I have alzheimer's
8. body paint
9. call all the people I don't like and tell them so
10. call all the people I love and tell them so
11. call my X and ask him if he ever really loved me
12. climb Mount Everest
13. date a celebrity
14. direct a movie
15. dive into a bowling alley
16. do laser hair removal
17. Do my M.B.A
18. do the Monopoly board pub crawl
19. Drive a formula one car
20. drive in Saudi Arabia
21. eat an entire chicken by myself with my hands like they do in the Egyptian movies!
22. exercise on a regular basis
23. fall in love
24. fart in an elevator then SCREAM who did it
25. get a 4 hand massage
26. get arrested and spend a night in jail
27. get stoned
28. go camping in the desert and the beach
29. go on a Safari (Desert Safari done, AMAAAAZING, Jungle Safari pending )
30. go on the Sex and The City tour in NYC
31. go to a movie theatre that's playing a horror movie and randomly grab people at very intense moments
32. go to Hajj
33. go to space
34. go to the love planet festival in Prague
35. grab a Mo6awa3 (religious police) from his lehya (beard) and threaten to demanilize him if he bothers any other girl again
36. grab a stranger , tell him he's my soul mate, kiss him then leave
37. have my own radio and/or TV. Show
38. have sex in a public place , preferably in an elevator (With my future husband if I get married. So thanks to anyone volunteering to help me out with this one but I’ll have to pass :)
39. hot air ballooning
40. join a TV reality show
41. jump from a waterfall then bathe under it 42. jump into a pool in a wedding dress
43. keep blogging for at least 5 years ( 1 down, 4 to go )
44. Knee George W.
45. lean how to ski, surf and sail
46. learn how to blow dry my hair
47. learn how to cook anything !
48. learn how to drive a manual car
49. learn how to drive a plane and a motorcycle (finally been on a motorcycle in Saudi !!)
50. learn how to play baloot, chess and poker (Poker done)
51. learn how to play the guitar
52. learn how to put make up properly
53. learn how to put on nail polish within the nail border!
54. learn how to Salsa , Meringue , Cha Cha ,Belly dance, Mambo and ball room dance like a professional
55. learn how to speak Italian , Spanish, French, Hebrew and Urdu
56. learn how to spell like an adult!
57. learn how to type properly
58. learn the names of all the countries including their capitals and languages spoken in each
59. mail a letter to a stranger and include $500 in the envelop. ask that person to add as much money as he/she would like then mail the money and the letter to another person in another country and do the same thing then mail me the status of the letter.when the letter has roamed the world the last person should mail me back all the money and the letter showing it's route and I then donate all the money to a charity ( this is to test people's greed)
60. master flash , Photoshop and illustrator
61. Max out my credit card (almost!!!)
62. memorize The Holy Quran
63. paraglide 64. participate in a treasure hunt
65. participate in a water gun war
66. participate in the largest human domino in the world
67. play a part in my favorite TV show
68. ride a Gondola in Venice with someone I love
69. Ride a horse on the beach (Does a Camel count!)
70. ride a wild horse
71. ride the luggage rolling trail
72. ride the subway for an entire day aimlessly and discover new places 73. ride the worlds biggest rollercoaster
74. run with the bulls in Spain
75. save someone's life
76. scream don't marry that person @ a wedding then run out
77. scuba dive the Barrier Reef
78. shave my head 79. shoot a gun
80. sing a duet with my favorite singer
81. skinny dip @ midnight 82. Sky Dive
83. spend an entire day as a man and see if I can actually get away with it 84. stage dive or crowd surf
85. stall traffic and refuse to move my car and when people ask me why I just say na7asa (cus. i can) !
86. start a revolution
87. start my own business
88. start my own clothing line
89. stay in an ice hotel
90. study the Kama Sutra and put theory into practice (again with my future husband people)
91. swim with dolphins
92. swim with sharks
93. take part in a police car chase
94. tell my parents that I'm pregnant and that I don't know who the father is just to see their reaction
95. travel the world and see the 7 wonders
96. volunteer in a refugee camp
97. watch all the movies that have won Oscars
98. wear the hejab (headscarf)
99. white river rafting
100. write a best seller preferably about the 101 things i did before i died and film it in a documentary :)
101. mail a letter of this list to my future self in 20 years
The Dazed seems to have made a bet with herself to find out if she can actually fulfil some of her wishes in a society which does not give her the possibility to have an “identity” and through tragicomic incidents of her everyday life-those as well as her faithful readers- realise that…
‘ something sucks in the Kingdom..’
I wonder when she will write her first book. Or is this, her book?

Blog’s title : Dazed and Confused
Favourite post : ALL OF THEM
For a start:
November 2006 and December 2006 posts
especially'is having a penis a prerequisite to living in Saudi Arabia?'
Country : Saudi Arabia
Language : English (fortunately..)

Thank you very much Gabriel for this review . I especially enjoyed the party about my deadly thoughts !!!!

Just a few corrections, I moved back to Saudi over 3 years ago and can go our without an escort despite my Gender : )

5- the review above ties perfectly with this point. Our own resident Blog perv , the one and only Mr. Dotsson tagged me in his “6 Things You Should Do Before You Die" post because he thinks i should stop asking my readers what they think and start thinking for myself !!!
Copied
This is an interesting tag, and here goes:

1. Post these rules before presenting your list.
2. List 6 actions or achievements you think every person should accomplish before turning 18.
3. There are no conditions on what can be included on the list.
4. At the end of your blog, choose 6, or less, people to get tagged and list their names.
5. The tagged peeps write their own blog entry with their 6 suggestions.
6. Leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

***
Well my dear Dotty , i have 101 of them listed above , beat that !

I tag , Mr. Agnon, Mr. Ahmed, Asswipe, eshda3wa, Gabriel and the seeker :)

Long one Ha......... i feel much better now, thank you very much :P

I Don’t

Hi guys ,

Guess who was briefly back in the picture recently… It’s non other than “The Crush”. For those of you recent readers, “The Crush” is the guy who finally awakened this Dazed and Confused’s emotions from a long, long, TRUST ME, LONG slumber and sparked her interest for a while but unfortunately left the country before the 2 of us could explore anything.

He wasn’t back for long, so his parents who are desperately trying to marry him off were working double time.

The Crush: my parents are pressuring me to meet someone and they are trying to introduce me to girls left and right
DC: just tell them that you’re not ready and stand up for urself man!!
The Crush: I know, I know but they are not listening and i don't want to break their hearts
DC: BREAK THEIR HEARTS, dude, GROW SOME, seriously!
The Crush: Ok, that’s attractive!
DC: Then don't complain if you can’t take the heat and don’t wanna take a stand!
The Crush: I know but they are my family and they just want me to at least start talking to someone
DC: then tell them that you are interested in someone and maybe they’ll back off
The Crush: Can I tell them about u then? (using his, annoying voice that he uses when he is trying to act all cute and wants to say something in passing)
DC: Don't u dare or even think about it
The Crush: oh Waw ... No hesitation there !!!
You know, it would be awesome if we ended up together. U over analyze things and i don't think about anything, opposites attract u know!
DC: they attract but they don't work. I told you before that you are the last person I would think of marrying, our families and backgrounds are just way too different and I don’t like to complicate my life!!!!!
If you mention anything to them, I WILL KILL YOU !!!
The Crush: freaked u out hahahahahahahah
DC: very much , now seriously don't mention a thing

Most girls would have been ecstatic or at least flattered to hear that the guy they are interested in brought up future plans, even if he was joking about it. I on the other hand started to hyperventilate and felt like I was trapped in a tiny dark room flooded with thousands of spiders crawling up my skin!!!!

SERIOUSLY, What is wrong with me ?!!!!
Am I missing the bride gene and should be put into a test tube and studied. Am I a defected model that is bound to be recalled for part deficiencies?!!

As I mentioned before in my previous posts, I am far from being a player and don’t really see much action (actually any) in my life but the idea of committing to someone honestly freaks the hell out of me !

I have even noticed that I unintentionally fall for the people who I know it will never work out with and that aren’t really interested in forming a long term relationship, and push away the people who are and sabotage things with them as soon as I feel like things could potentially get serious.

I read somewhere the following about commitment phoebes:

“They have a self fulfilling prophecy that they can't meet someone who is right for them. Interestingly they start relationships that are doomed to fail thereby reinforcing their-fulfilling prophecy of failure. And they have a habit of leaving and returning to the same failing relationship over a lapse of months or years. Maybe that's their way of avoiding commitment thereby hurting themselves in the process".

I kinda think this has some truth to it. WHO in their right mind would tell the person they have/maybe had a crush on, “you are the last person I would ever think of marrying”???!!!

Someone SHOOT me please!

I even had the ODASITY to follow that LAME excuse of a line with an even lamer one “It’s not personal” (*handing you the gun) !.

Actually, shooting me would be too merciful; I should be killed in an extremely miserable and torturous way, any suggestions??? (You have a sadist in the making , how attractive…..I make my parents proud !!!)

Why was I so afraid of the idea, was it him or is it me??

Does my fear of commitment stem from the fear that I might find someone better along the way, is it a fear of responsibility, is it a fear that I won’t be happy, or is it a fear that I will loose myself and wont be able to become the person I aspire to become?


I just don’t think I’m ready to give up the idea of me to become an us.
Everyone says that marriage is a merger of two souls and two hearts, or a merger of bank accounts in some cases. However, we all know that in any merger someone always gets the worse end of the deal and gets let behind.

Does the HP and Compaq's merger ring a bell??What’s Compaq some of you might ask, EXACTLY my point!

Does my fear of commitment stem from the fear that I will be merged and no longer will be me?!

I wonder if I will ever meet the man I think is good enough for me or that meets my exhaustive and very contradicting list. The man that will entice me to take the plunge and merge?

Maybe, I will never meet him and that I will never settle down. Maybe my fear of commitment isn’t a disease that needs to be cured, maybe some of us are just built differently and not meant to settle down in the traditional sense.

“Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them.” Carrie Bradshaw

For those of you fellow commitment phoebes:
Do you think this hesitation and fear is because we just aren’t ready yet or is it something we can never get rid of and just learn to tame and
hide?

For the non-commitment phoebes who get into a relationships with those who are: Do you do it because you didn’t know that they were when you got into the relationship or do you view them as a challenge and taming then is a victory for you ?

“I Like You Just The Way You Are”

I was watching The Little Mermaid, which is one of my favorite Disney cartoons of all time. Although I watched this movie countless times before as a kid and as an adult, this time it seemed like I was watching it with brand new skeptic and critical eyes.

Behind the dancing fishies, the sarcastic lobster, the handsome prince and the controlling father, is a story of passionate young women and the journey she takes to follow her dreams and find where she truly belongs. However, she ends up losing her path along the way and compromising who she really is… and for what or for whom?!

She ends up giving up her family, her home, her life, her beautiful voice and everything that makes her who she is in exchange for legs and the chance to win the heart of her prince.

Relationships are risky, uncertain and require a lot of work, including a bit of compromising and give and take every once in a while to keep the relationship scale balanced. Otherwise, the couple’s inevitable differences will eventually make them grow apart.

Some people view compromise as a sign of weakness rather than sacrifice. Compromise is nothing like that at unless you start compromising your core beliefs, the things you love, the people you cherish and what makes you “YOU”.

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and The city,
"In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising?"

When you start becoming someone other than yourself to please your partner, and start giving up or doing things to keep that love alive, light bulbs should light in your head !!! (P.S how cool would that be if it literally happened, Seriously , SERIOUSLY !!! sorry couldn’t help the Grey’s Anatomy moment :) )

Back to the topic…..

Maybe something aren’t worth saving and the risk of losing them is hardly a tragedy compared to the risk of losing yourself! I read a very nice piece about compromise

“Contrary to a very popular belief that compromise supports love; the truth is compromise erodes love. When you compromise yourself for the sake of the relationship, very quickly resentment is experienced, not love. Love and resentment are mutually exclusive. They don't live in the same house; they don't even live in the same suburb!”

That person couldn’t have said it better. More often than not, someone in the relationship starts resenting the other person for making them give up so much of what makes them happy. Their life didn’t turn the way they expected it to, they aren’t really satisfied, and don’t like the person they became. They have nobody to blame but the other person, they surly won’t blame themselves!!!

So tell me How far are you willing to go for the person you love??

Start dressing differently, quit your job, quit smoking or drinking , move to another city or country, change your religion, sacrifice your friends or family ……… where do you draw the line?

You can never find someone who you like everything about, that’s just beyond impossible but when we choose to love someone, don’t we choose to love everything about them and start embracing their flaws. Isn’t that what for better or for worse is about??!!!

If the slightly overweight, clumsy and sometimes embarrassing to be around yet ultimately charming Bridget Jones can get the dreamy Mr. Darcy to utter the words "I like you just the way you are." … I’m sorry, I just won’t settle for anything less!!!

The way I see it….. and yes a theory is coming your way…

We should approach relationship like Mercury; it has the ability to adapt without losing its composition. So I choose to be Mercury gal !!!
Damn, that sounds like a comic book super heroine in the making…….. copy rights people!!! :)

Now tell me, How far are you willing to go and compromise for the person you love??

Happy Holidays :)

Hi guys ,

i would like to wish you all a Eid Mubarak, a Marry Christmas & a Happy New Year :)

I'm gonna take a short break for a few weeks, I'll hopefully come back rejuvenated, energized and with enough time to post as much as i hope to.

I'm planning on starting an e-mail list to send those of you who don't like to use RSS feed my blog updates. if you would like to be added to the mailing list , drop a comment or shoot me an e-mail saudiandthecity@hotmail.com

c u all soon :)

DC

Getting Ahead !

Asswipe: Hey u , it’s been a while
DC: I know , what’s new with u
Asswipe: Nothing much , I was actually talking about BJs, with my friend
DC: Oh Really, interesting choice of topic …. And the verdict is??
Asswipe: She is against them but she likes foreplay
DC: isn’t that what foreplay is ?!!!!
Asswipe: That’s a part of it but there are other things
DC: and where do u stand?
Asswipe: I would never do it
DC: Do you want to get it?
Asswipe: I guess so
DC: How do u expect to get something you aren’t willing to do, hasn’t it occurred to you that she might find the idea of going down on you equally disgusting as the idea of u going down on her!!!!!!
Asswipe: I guess so… but I am ok with the idea of not getting it if it means I won’t have to do it !
DC: fair enough but never say never !!!
Asswipe: OH it’s never in this case!

In my friend’s case , he wasn’t going to start asking for something he wasn’t willing to do but unfortunately my research proved that this wasn’t the case with most men, they expect and even ask for it without the decency or inclination to return the favor !!!!

This is especially evident in the naming of this act, which I personally find somewhat disturbing but that’s beside the point!!

Think about it, a girl going down on a guy is called a Blow Job while a guy going down on a girl is often referred to as Eating Out … ewwwwww to graphic!!

The first one is called a job, meaning that it is something people are expected to do and the norm in most cases while the later is a required taste and occasional. Not everyone likes to eat out all the time and some are extremely picky and will only frequent specific restaurants. At the end of the day, they aren’t really expected or obligated to do it. It’s a choice that only a few choose to exercise!!

That attitude honestly makes me furious because it doesn’t only apply to this scenario in particular. Most men but I’m not generalizing expect things from women that they themselves aren’t willing to do, why is that ???!!! ( and NO I’m not generalizing, I said most not al, ur dealing with a politically correct gal here people )

- When a couple gets married, the female is expected to change the way she behaves a lot more than the male does.
- When a couple has kids, the female is expected to quit her job and stay with the kids even if she is the breadwinner. Furthermore, if she chooses not to quit her job, she is tricked into feeling guilty about her unthinkable behavior.
- Females are expected to have never done or experienced anything in the love or sex department while the men are free to roam free and spread their seeds. A non experienced man isn’t a man after all and an experienced female is nothing more than a filthy whore !
- The female is expected to take care of the house even if both parties work
- The female is expected to do this , and not do that ………..the list just goes on and on !!!

here’s a thought, we are all human so don’t expect things from others you aren’t willing to do!

So I call on you my upperly and backsidedly inflated daughters of eve to get off ur knees and take a stand, literary and abstain from pleasing those who don’t intend to reciprocate your generosity.

In the words of the cynical yet wise Miranda from Sex and the City “I'll go down on him, if that's what I need to do to get him to go down on me."

Now we can’t have a post without a few questions to fuel the curiosity of this Dazed & Confused gal , can we ?!!!

Didn’t think so ;)

Ladies first:
1- Would you be willing to do the job if required? If yes move to question 2 , if not please elaborate why not.
2- Do you do it because
a. You like to do It
b. You just want to please him/her (u never know !!)
c. If you don’t give it to him , he will get it elsewhere and that is something you won’t risk happening
3- Would you ask ur significant other to reciprocate if he didn’t offer ?
4- Would you continue to do him if he refuses to do you?

Gents:
1- Would you ask your gal to give u a BJ if she doesn’t offer to do it herself ?
2- If your significant other refuses to give u a BJ will you get it elsewhere , and do you consider that cheating ( please be honest )
3- Would you be willing to please your gal as well ? if yes move to question 3 , if not please elaborate why not.
4- Would you offer to do it yourself or only do it if she requests it?
5- I heard that some men won’t ask their wives to go down on them because they associate the act with prostitutes and back alleys, is that true ?

In conclusion, the balance sheet has to balance people , like OMG that’s why it’s called a balance sheet. If it doesn’t, an adjustment transaction should be passed…. No way around it people, the books have to be accurate !!!

P.S I just thought of a gr8 business idea , relationship auditors and consultants agency ……. I’m so patenting this concept , EY watch out , DC is gonna give you a run for ur money : )

To Fart Or Not To Fart, That Is The Question ?

Relationships are best measured by farting. That is, the stages in a relationship can be defined by the stages of farting.

Stage One: (Conspiracy of silence)

This is the fantasy period where both parties pretend that they have no bodily waste. This illusion is quickly shattered by the first shy … “oh do u fart?” Followed by the sheepish admission of truth.

Stage Tow: (Fart honeymoon)

This is the period of deeper intimacy where both parties find each other’s gas just the cutest thing in the world but of course no honeymoon can last forever!

Stage Three: (Critical fork in the fart)

This is the period where the fart either looses its power to amuse and embarrass their by signifying true love, or else it begins to annoy and disgust thereby symbolizing all that is blocked and rancid in the formally beloved

Twisted, disturbing, nauseating yet brilliant lines from the new movie “ Love and other Disasters”

Seriously, is burping the new way of saying I like you and farting the new way of saying I love you??!!!!!

This reminds me of my friend Kuku who measure intimacy and commitment with the ability of both parties to do their business in front of each other !

Kuku: you should be so comfortable with your significant other to the extent where
both of you are able to do your business without being embarrassed. It shows
that both of you are extremely intimate and committed to each other. I don’t
think I can marry a guy who isn’t comfortable sharing that with me!
The Wise One: that is absolutely disgusting. Some things need to be kept private and
aren’t meant to be shared.
Kuku: your too uptight, I converted Dala3 and I will not rest till I convert you Wise One
The Wise One: Dala3, don’t tell me you subscribe to her lunatic theory now ?!
Dala3: Not to her extent, but I wouldn’t mind it
The Wise One: You guys aren’t normal, absolutely revolting!!!

Certain people think in relationships everything should be shared, vows, house, bank accounts even bathroom time. They view farting and the exchange of bodily fluids as a sign of intimacy. While others believe that even though we should form a unified one , we should still keep certain things about ourselves and our lives private.

which school of thinking do you subscribe to ?

This got my unique, yet slightly twisted and occasionally perverted mind thinking... if we can measure the stages of relationships with the stages of farting, it’s only fitting to redefine the stages of intimacy don’t u think ?

Behold the new basis according to yous truly - Dazed & Confused :)

First base: Farting in front of each other
Second Base: peeing in front of each other
Third Base: crapping in front of each other
Home Run: I don’t wanna go there!!

i bet u'll think twice before rushing between basis now :P

To fart or not to fart , that is the question?

I’m actually asking, so dish people dish : )

Like A Virgin, Touched For The Very First Time!

We don’t realize it till we loose it but your memory is everything that you are, without it you’re a blank slate, reborn without point of reference, experiences even opinions. A child looking at the world with new eyes.

Words of Samantha played by Christina Applegate from the new show “Samantha Who?”, a comedy about a 30 year old lawyer who, after becoming the victim of a hit and run accident, develops amnesia and tries to escape the B**** she supposedly was and re-invent herself as a new person.

Imagine being given this chance, the opportunity to look at the world with new eyes, blue, green, brown, with shades or without ….the sky is the limit.

You have the opportunity to start over with a clean slate. No inner inhibitions or past experiences to learn from.

You have the opportunity to live through everything for the first time all over again, like a virgin, touched for the very first time.

The chance to re-live your first crush , love, heartbreak, kiss, orgasm, fight, black eye, broken bone, death of a loved one, A on a test, F on a test, French frie, ice cream, roller coaster, movie theatre, car….

You have the chance to re-brand yourself whichever way you want ,without costing you a thing and with virtually nothing holding you back.

No one that you remember caring about or are afraid of hurting, no skeletons in the closet that you afraid of coming out, no “I know better” or “I learned my lesson” to hold you back.

You have the ultimate freedom from the restrictions of society, reality and most importantly from you.

What would you do, who would you be. Would you do it all over again, or change who you are completely?

p.s this is a call for Mr. Agnon, come out come out wherever you are, i know ur reading this :)

Cracks In Our Foundation

Foundation by Kate Nash Lyrics

Thursday night, every thing's fine, except you've got that look in your eye
when I'm tellin' a story and you find it boring,
you're thinking of something to say.
You'll go along with it then drop it and humiliate me in front of our friends.

Then I'll use that voice that you find annoyin' and say something like
"yeah, intelligent input, darlin', why don't you just have another beer then?"

Then you'll call me a bitch
and everyone we're with will be embarrassed,
and I wont give a shit.

My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,
and I know that I should let go,
but I can't.
And every time we fight I know it's not right,
every time that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

You said I must eat so many lemons
'cause i am so bitter.
I said
"I'd rather be with your friends mate 'cause they are much fitter."

Yes, it was childish and you got aggressive,
and I must admit that I was a bit scared,
but it gives me thrills to wind you up.

My finger tips are holding on to the cracks in our foundation,
and I know that I should let go,
but I can't.
And every time we fight I know it's not right,
every time that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

Your face is pasty 'cause you've gone and got so wasted, what a surprise.
Don't want to look at your face 'cause it's makin' me sick.
You've gone and got sick on my trainers,
I only got these yesterday.
Oh, my gosh, I cannot be bothered with this.

Well, I'll leave you there 'till the mornin',
and I purposely wont turn the heating on
and dear God, I hope I'm not stuck with this one.

My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,
and I know that I should let go,
but I can't.
And every time we fight I know it's not right,
every time that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

And every time we fight I know it's not right,
every time that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

“Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it” Ann Landers.

Easier said than done!

How do we let go of a person whom we love or once loved, and who may love us back but just isn’t good for us?

How do we make ourselves let go of the person we at a point in time thought of as The-One?

We hold on although we know deep inside that we deserve better than just some fraction of what we wanted, a fraction of the life we envisioned for ourselves with that person.

We hold on and can’t get ourselves to delete those old e-mails and text message and we go back to them from time to time because they remind us of the love we once shared.

We hold on and can’t get ourselves to delete them from our phone, e-mail and MSN directory and block them instead because we feel comfort in knowing that they are still there.

We hold on and can’t help ourselves from bringing them up in our conversations even if we are talking about world politics and the soaring stock prices.

We hold on and can’t help ourselves from scoping the place and secretly hope that they show up although they are the last people we ever want to see.

That attachment however, has more to do with us as individuals than with the person we refuse to let go off.

Letting go means that we have failed to secure our happy ending. That we have to accept that fact that we aren’t perfect and that we are humans that make mistakes and that we need to let go of our illusion that we can actually control most aspects of our lives.

We can’t comprehend that what once made us so happy no longer does. That not every old car we had and loved can be patched up and become a classic. That sometimes we need to let go of the old to make room for the new .

We are afraid that we might never find the right person for us and that we are letting go of the best person we could ever have.

However, to grow and evolve as people, we need to let go of the life we had, the person we were and embrace the new life , the new us that is ready to become.

Some things are worth fighting for and some things aren’t. When do you think is the right time to keep fighting and when is it the right time to give up and let go? Is it marriage, children, money or just pure love, where do you draw the line?

“The Circle of Life”

Haaaaaakonaaaaaa Mattata , God I love this movie :)


I would like to start off this post by wishing you all a Happy and Blessed Eid :)

I really value ur comments on my blog and I’ll keep them in mind for the future, and I promises to try and write more to keep u guys interested :)


The summer is over and a new season has come, putting and end to wedding season which was at its peak this year. Honestly, I lost count of how many people I know got hitched the past few months! can I hear lelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelellelelelellelellelelelel (and ya , I can do it for real :P)

However, as happy of a time as it was, this happiness didn’t and couldn’t last forever :(

Unfortunately, we have entered DEATH SEASON. I’ve already been to 4 funerals so far, I just hope I don’t loose count of how many i've been and am going to go to this season!!!!!!!!!


I have noticed a trend a long the years; it starts off with a marriage period which is followed by a death period (God forbid) concluding with a period of having babies.

It’s all calculated actually and makes perfect sense. People get married, start making babies, then people pass a way to make room for the new blood to take over . Depressing But that’s the Circle of life, it’s a wheel of fortune!

Since this is the Season of Death, that’s going to be the topic of my post today. Very fitting considering that it’s Eid and everyone is so happy and joyful don’t u think ?!!

I though it would be nice of me to balance things out for u guys :P

To be more specific, this post is more about how we choose to live and conclude our lives rather than about death itself .

I’ve recently watched 2 back to back movies that I thought were romantic comedies and turned out to be movies about death and how some people choose to live their final day!

I highly recommend both but that’s the last time I request a genera instead of an actual movie!!!!!

The first movie was “2 weeks”, a brilliant piece about the last 2 weeks of a mother’s life that is diagnosed with cancer. Sally field who was amaaaaaaazing in this movie , chooses to use whatever time she has left to bring her family together and help them cope with her upcoming death while settling all her unfinished business.


Extremely moved and a bit depressed, I opted to watch another romantic movie “ Griffin & Phoneix” starring the bubbly Amanda Peet. (Caution, this movie is not for the weak hearted and rainy teary eyes is a very common side effect, and this is coming from a person that laughed through Titanic)!!!!!

It follows the life of Griffin, a man who has just found out that he has an advanced stage of cancer and that he has about a year left to live. While attending a lecture about death and what to expect, he meets phoenix. He conceals his illness from her and lives his final days with the love of his life. There is a twist in the movie which I’m not gonna share because I’m a decent person and anything but a SPOILER, unlike some people who deserve to get their tongues cut out!


These movies got me thinking… and all sorts of questions started popping in my head; when is it gonna be my time to go, how will I go, will I know when and do I really wanna know? ( can’t stop singing , I need to know, I need to know …. Tell me baby cus I need to know……great now my hips can’t stop swinging)!

Back to the serious topic on hand, I did what I always do , I asked my friends and now I’m asking you : )

If you had the choice to know when you are going to die, would you want to know? (just to clarify , I don’t mean knowing well in advance, maybe a year or 2 before)

Personally, I would rather know to be prepared, mostly to repent my sins and live my final days doing good deeds and getting closer to God.
Not surprisingly, most of the people who opted to find out, of different faiths wanted to know for religious reasons as well.

“Do for your life as if your living forever and do for your afterlife as if your dying tomorrow” Most of us Muslims know that but do we really live by it like we should , not likely.

On the other hand, those who opted not to know, thought it would bee too depressing and frightening, and their final days would be lived as if they were already dead, something they definitely didn’t want any part of .

Different people choose to live their final days very differently, how would u choose to live yours ???

OOOOOOOPPPPs , i'm proud to say that i have just lived up to my name Dazed and Confused cus apparently this Birthday post is a month too soon :|

IDIOT , i know no need to point out the obvious!!!!

this just goes to show how preoccupied my mind is , can i hear an AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH : )

anyhow, I'm not gonna put it down so might as well celebrate it early and i'll link to it next month :)

Happy Birthday Saudi and The City

I can’t believe it has already been a year since my first post “Is Tivo the new Stevo" !!!


When I moved back to Saudi after I graduated from University, I felt useless, empty and trapped. I was always very active in school and I needed something to channel my wasted energy on.

I needed to vent, and I figured that the blogsphere was the perfect place to do it. For some reason, I found the idea of sharing my deepest inner thoughts and insecurities with a bunch of strangers very liberating!

I Started my blog not knowing if anyone would actually give it the time of the day but I was overwhelmed with the positive response I got from my readers.

I feel the love, now only if it wasn’t virtual (ok that didn’t sound perverted in my head , I swear....by the moon and the starts and the sky, FOCUS DAMMIT FOCUS)

Honestly, I feel a connection with u guys, to the extent that I can anticipate the reactions of some of u while I’m writing!!

I know that Agnon, is gonna fire back with a witty scientific cynical answer and that eshda3wa and arabiannight are gonna relate in some way. I know that Dotsson is gonna manage to turn it into something dirty and that Ahmad is gonna give me advice on what I should and shouldn’t to :)

I figured it would be nice to do a little recap of last year, so here it goes.

1- Most Loyal Reader with the most comments: Mr. Agnon, Shale of Agnon, the Academic Flop… DUDE I LOST TRACK
2- Most Perverted Commenter: Mr. Dotsson
3- Most Controversial & most commented on post: Is Having A Penis A Prerequisite To Living In Saudi Arabia
4- Most Perverted Post: Curiosity Killed the Cat
5- Most Evil Post: For Better Or For Worse Until…
6- Cheesiest Post/s: a tie between C Ya Later & A Few Good Men
7- Most Referred to post: 101 Thing To Do Before I Die
8- My Favorite Theory: The One theory from The Perfect Pair

Feel free to add to the list and boost my over inflated ready to pop ego :)

Seeing how I usually end my posts with questions, I don’t see how this post should be any different.

Rest assured that your answers will be strictly confidential and will only be viewed by pretty much everyone with internet access :|

1- Where did u find out about Saudi and the city ?
2- Why do u read Saudi and The City?
3- What do u like most about this blog?
4- What do u like least about this blog?
5- What topics would u like me to focus on in the future
5- If you could describe this blog in one word what would it be ?
6- Have you recommended this blog to any of your friend , PLEASE DO :)
7- This I leave open to ur comments, questions and marriage proposals ; )

Thank you all for tuning in so far, *raising my non alcoholic glass* …To another year of fashion , passion and bashing… to another year of Saudi and The City :)

p.s I’m sorry for being distant lately, but I’m currently overwhelmed with work and other things so please bare with me for a little longer : )

Never Been Kissed


ANITA: I swear to God, Jos. When is the last time you went on a real live date?

JOSIE: I'm concentrating on my career right now.

ANITA: Do you own any colored underwear? Stripes? Anything?!

JOSIE: (embarrassed) Anita!

ANITA: Look. You're way under 30, you're cute, some guys find white Carter's underwear sexy !

( Josie laughs in spite of herself)

JOSIE: The right guy is out there. I'm just not going to kiss a whole
bunch of losers to get to him.

ANITA: Yeah, but sometimes kissing the losers can be a fun diversion.

JOSIE: When I finally get kissed, I'll know.

ANITA: Okay. If you've never kissed a guy, we got bigger problems than the underwear!!

JOSIE: I've kissed guys. I've just never kissed a guy. Felt that thing--

CYNTHIA: "That thing"? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

JOSIE: That thing. That moment. You kiss someone and it's like the world around you gets all hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this other person and you know that one person is the person you're meant to be kissing for the rest of your life. And for that one moment you've been given this amazing gift and you want to laugh
and cry at the same time because you're so lucky you found it, and so scared that it will all go away.

CYNTHIA: Damn, girl. You are a writer.

JOSIE : (Writing) Someone once told me that to write well you have to write what you know. This is what I know. I am twenty five years old. I have never really kissed a guy. A geek to the core, most of my childhood years were spent doing extra homework I requested from the teacher.


Do you ever feel like you are living a scene out of a movie ?

I Do all the time… I’m Josie, and her story, her lif eand her words are my own, minus the geek to the core part !

However, unlike Josie, i Dazed & Confused will not stand on the pitcher's mound for the five minutes prior to the beginning of the game waiting for the man of my dreams to come and kiss me , in front of everyone, for my first real kiss (actually just kiss real or not real)!.

SAD I know !!!

It’s not like I’m a nun or have never been out with anyone. Granted, that I’ve only been in one actual relationship but I’ve had ample opportunities to kiss and be kissed, yet it has never happened.

So for those of you gals and lads who are on the same boat, rest assured that you are not alone in this world.

While I was looking for the script of the movie above I came across many groups with girls and guys in their mid twenties and even 30s who are wondering why they haven’t had the chance to kiss anyone before, I also came across the occasional 13 year old horny freaks who complain about not getting it on while they still haven’t grown boobs or facial hair !!

Seriously, why does it always seem that some of us always get all the action while others get none whatsoever. Are there those of us who are kissable and those who aren’t???

I’ve been told by many that I’m an attractive girl, my breath doesn’t stink and I always smell nice, So what’s the deal ?!!!

Do I give out an intimidating vibe or have a sign on my forhead that says “BEWARE, NO ENTRY ZONE”?!!

I’m not a lovey dovey person and I don’t really like to be touched and hugged and all that mushy crap but I sure would still like to be kissed once : ( ( and no this isn’t an invitation )

I’m a very approachable person and the type of girl that all guys love. I’ve been told that on numerous occasions by all sorts of people but loved and approached in what way?!

Now, I’m scared that once I do actually get to this point that I’m gonna pretty much suck cus I don’t know how it’s done!!

Do i lean in or out, left or right , do I stop and ask for directions?!!!

What if I get disappointed and I don’t feel anything, what am I suppose to feel??

How do I know that I’m a bad kisser or that my partner is one , where do the hands go while your kissing assuming that it’s a PG 13 movie ??!!

Hopeless I know , no need to state the obvious !!!!!

Clearly , I don’t have any answers to all my questions , so that’s where you my loyal readers come in : )

Guys,

1- Have you ever been interested in a girl and really wanted to kiss her but never got yourself to do it ?
2- If yes , Why ?
-Was it because you were too intimidated by her
-You were just too afraid of being rejected
- Something else (Please elaborate)
3- How do you feel about a girl making the first move and kissing you?
4- If you usually go for the kill, do you wait for some queues from the girl first, if yes what type of queues?
5- When do you think is the best time to kiss a girl?

Girls ,

1- What type of queues do you give out when you wanna be kissed cus I think I missed that chapter !!
2- If your guys never makes the first move, would you initiate it?


As for me , I’ve decided that I will no longer dwell over this kissing thing.

A first kiss should be and with someone special because it will either be a moment I will cherish or regret forever , and I definitely want “That Thing” Josie was talking about. (I can just see Mr. Dotsson’s eyes rolling at me now !!)

I’ve waited this long so I think I’m just gonna wait it out a bit more till I find my “Thing Man”… Ok that sound creepy !

Or till the Hottie from my previous "What If" post comes a long :P