Never Been Kissed
ANITA: I swear to God, Jos. When is the last time you went on a real live date?
JOSIE: I'm concentrating on my career right now.
ANITA: Do you own any colored underwear? Stripes? Anything?!
JOSIE: (embarrassed) Anita!
ANITA: Look. You're way under 30, you're cute, some guys find white Carter's underwear sexy !
( Josie laughs in spite of herself)
JOSIE: The right guy is out there. I'm just not going to kiss a whole
bunch of losers to get to him.
ANITA: Yeah, but sometimes kissing the losers can be a fun diversion.
JOSIE: When I finally get kissed, I'll know.
ANITA: Okay. If you've never kissed a guy, we got bigger problems than the underwear!!
JOSIE: I've kissed guys. I've just never kissed a guy. Felt that thing--
CYNTHIA: "That thing"? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?
JOSIE: That thing. That moment. You kiss someone and it's like the world around you gets all hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this other person and you know that one person is the person you're meant to be kissing for the rest of your life. And for that one moment you've been given this amazing gift and you want to laugh
and cry at the same time because you're so lucky you found it, and so scared that it will all go away.
CYNTHIA: Damn, girl. You are a writer.
JOSIE : (Writing) Someone once told me that to write well you have to write what you know. This is what I know. I am twenty five years old. I have never really kissed a guy. A geek to the core, most of my childhood years were spent doing extra homework I requested from the teacher.
Do you ever feel like you are living a scene out of a movie ?
I Do all the time… I’m Josie, and her story, her lif eand her words are my own, minus the geek to the core part !
However, unlike Josie, i Dazed & Confused will not stand on the pitcher's mound for the five minutes prior to the beginning of the game waiting for the man of my dreams to come and kiss me , in front of everyone, for my first real kiss (actually just kiss real or not real)!.
SAD I know !!!
It’s not like I’m a nun or have never been out with anyone. Granted, that I’ve only been in one actual relationship but I’ve had ample opportunities to kiss and be kissed, yet it has never happened.
So for those of you gals and lads who are on the same boat, rest assured that you are not alone in this world.
While I was looking for the script of the movie above I came across many groups with girls and guys in their mid twenties and even 30s who are wondering why they haven’t had the chance to kiss anyone before, I also came across the occasional 13 year old horny freaks who complain about not getting it on while they still haven’t grown boobs or facial hair !!
Seriously, why does it always seem that some of us always get all the action while others get none whatsoever. Are there those of us who are kissable and those who aren’t???
I’ve been told by many that I’m an attractive girl, my breath doesn’t stink and I always smell nice, So what’s the deal ?!!!
Do I give out an intimidating vibe or have a sign on my forhead that says “BEWARE, NO ENTRY ZONE”?!!
I’m not a lovey dovey person and I don’t really like to be touched and hugged and all that mushy crap but I sure would still like to be kissed once : ( ( and no this isn’t an invitation )
I’m a very approachable person and the type of girl that all guys love. I’ve been told that on numerous occasions by all sorts of people but loved and approached in what way?!
Now, I’m scared that once I do actually get to this point that I’m gonna pretty much suck cus I don’t know how it’s done!!
Do i lean in or out, left or right , do I stop and ask for directions?!!!
What if I get disappointed and I don’t feel anything, what am I suppose to feel??
How do I know that I’m a bad kisser or that my partner is one , where do the hands go while your kissing assuming that it’s a PG 13 movie ??!!
Hopeless I know , no need to state the obvious !!!!!
Clearly , I don’t have any answers to all my questions , so that’s where you my loyal readers come in : )
Guys,
1- Have you ever been interested in a girl and really wanted to kiss her but never got yourself to do it ?
2- If yes , Why ?
-Was it because you were too intimidated by her
-You were just too afraid of being rejected
- Something else (Please elaborate)
3- How do you feel about a girl making the first move and kissing you?
4- If you usually go for the kill, do you wait for some queues from the girl first, if yes what type of queues?
5- When do you think is the best time to kiss a girl?
Girls ,
1- What type of queues do you give out when you wanna be kissed cus I think I missed that chapter !!
2- If your guys never makes the first move, would you initiate it?
As for me , I’ve decided that I will no longer dwell over this kissing thing.
A first kiss should be and with someone special because it will either be a moment I will cherish or regret forever , and I definitely want “That Thing” Josie was talking about. (I can just see Mr. Dotsson’s eyes rolling at me now !!)
I’ve waited this long so I think I’m just gonna wait it out a bit more till I find my “Thing Man”… Ok that sound creepy !
Or till the Hottie from my previous "What If" post comes a long :P
posted by Dazed and Confused at
4:51 PM
18 Comments:
"man thing" that does sound creepy! :P
I'm sorry to say I've never experienced the kissing thing! So, cant help you there :P
I love that movie, detto on the whole baseball pitch thing :P
enjoyed reading the post =)
1. Maybe, when I was, like, 4.
2. I still get to answer 2, but by way of explaining why it has taken me so long to make an attempt.
2.a. Fear of rejection. That is the hardest one to get over.
2.b. If she did not send out any signals, traditionally I would have not known she was interested. Now I know that girls just do not take me seriously, so if they talk to me at all it is because they think I am meat for the killing.
3. Her 'first move' is angling her head to let me kiss her.
4. Back to 2.b. Make some accidental contact, but remember, it is like fishing: tease; move in too close and then move out too far. Angle your head up. Do not move away. Look into his eyes, and when you catch them look away quickly, but with a shy smile. Bite your bottom lip when you look directly at him, and make the lip-biting really obvious (this is a great one, put your entire bottom lip under your top teeth; subtle, but will generally turn knees to jelly).
5. Soon. Make it clear that you are so attracted that you could never be just friends.
Hi DC!
1. If u keep looking at his lips and his eyes, even if he isn't conscious about it, he will understand that you want him to kiss you.
If he looks at ur lips too, then you know you can go ahead and iniciate it.
But there are other signs, exactly as Shale said, biting ur bottom lip (easy to do when the guy is funny, u pretend that it is ur way of smiling/laughing...), u can touch ur hair, make subtle physical contact (exactly like Shale said), keep smiling and angling ur head.
2. Before, i prefered to iniciate the kiss but now i like to see how quick the guy wants to kiss me and also how his body says it! I just go with the flow. Everyone is different and before they kiss u, some guys will wait for a very obvious sign that u want to be kissed.
Actually, u will feel what to do when the situation comes along. And if you want to feel "that magic moment", u'd better keep the tension high for a long time before u kiss the guy. Im not saying wait 1 or 2 weeks but i mean that once u both know that the moment of the kiss has come, that u both "play", keep it as long as u can. The longer ur mouths take to touch each other, the better the kiss. the best is to keep the smallest distance between ur lips for as long as possible... :P
Personally, my first kiss was a disaster... i was 14 and just wanted to do like my friends!
Now, it's much much better!!!!!!!
Don't listen to Shale and Sarah... just come to the Dot man ;)
1- Yes
2- Too young and shy hehe
3- Depends on the moment...certain signals will indicate her desire to be kisses
5- 2nd - 3rd date. Depends on the person!
Lastly, you need to check your mail since the part I'm intending to say is exclusively urs ;)
ooooooh interesting post :)
i realized that one reason guys might not kiss girl is, (and i think this reason only works in the arab world) because they believe she doesn't want to be kissed. i.e. she looks too respectable for that kind of thing
im not up-to-date with ur posts so im not sure if u still live in saudi?
but in kuwait... the mindset is (generally) if a guys gonna kiss a girl.. then he doesnt have the highest opinion of her..
aakh.. then there's the whole "worrying about her reputation" thing..
so the situation is pretty much, get married and then get kissed, or get kissed and never get married :P
.. again.. this is a general kind of thing..
majority speaking
there came a point where i did not want to wait any longer and i just wanted to kiss and get it over with
but i overcame that phase
and here i am a kissing virgin and im ok with it
Rawr,
thank you very much and welcome to Saudi and the City :)
Agnon,
ya , i refuse to use any other name, and why flop ???
2- why don't u think girls take u seriously you piece of meat u ?!!
3- so the first move to u is her signaling that she wants to be kissed... what about her grabbing ur head and kissing u or telling u to kiss her , what's ur stand on that ??
4- WAAAAW , Seriously WAW man , i couldn't help but practice while i was reading , gotta take notes :)
5- and how do u suggest that i do that?
Sara,
welcome back , haven't seen u here in a while :)
1- angle i shall :)
shivers girls , and i have waited this long 1, 2 weeks , that's nothing to me !!! :|
Dotsson,
why am i not surprized ?!
but remember in my post i said it wasn't an invitation ;)
Ahmed,
2nd or 3rd dude, seriously that soon and explain the depending on thing ?!
ok and as the only remaining saudi male reader i ask u this?
1- how long would u be willing to stay in a relationship with no physical contact with the girl whatsoever
2- if indeed u have kissed the girl a few times do u usually think less of her and please be honest .
Palo girl,
i don't think kissing someone u have deep feelings for makes u un respectable honestly and yes i do live in Saudi :)
reading ur comment reminded me of how i used to think when i was younger . Hate to break it to u , but it's all bull girl and the girls who get it on the most are the ones getting all the action before and after not the other way around !!
eshda3wa,
welcome back, i missed u here :)
how was ur vacation?
and i guess so am i for now
Well I said it depends coz u never know when do u mean ur special one! If i liked someone very much. If i have this belief that she is my dream girl and if I felt that she feels the same for me then why to wait!!! 1st date kiss would me so much sense, wouldn't it?
1- I had been in a relationship in that sort for 2 years. Our break up was due to other reasons :)
2- No. Absolutely not. Since I kissed her few times, it would imply that i like her. Why would I think less of her?! I understand that other people might judge the girl and say she might have done this with other people and therefore they start having these second thoughts about that person. I guess I'm just lucky that I don't think that way lol
5. How do you let someone you know know you like them? Tell them, watch them storm off horrified, and wait three weeks until they ring you and beg you to go out with them. I could try and pretend I know why this works, but it would be sophism. It works, and I do not entirely know why.
Aaaah...I'm definitely in the same boat as you! For some reason people tell me that I give off the vibe that I'm a "prude" -__- I'm the type of girl guys like to be "friends" with, and not much else.
I'm still waiting for my first kiss too..(I've been kissed in KG, but doesn't count, does it?)
I don't think that I would EVER make the first move :p Couldn't bring myself to..
Besides, isn't that the guy's job? :p
hmmm.. yeah.. i dont have much of an opinion on this, i was just commenting on the status in Kuwait :)
my friend has been obsessing about her first kiss for the past month.
she tells me im missing out on a lot :(
hmmm..kissing....yum...no comment
However, i have read that as of next week filming of the Sex and the City movie will begin... YAY!
hmmm
ok just to point out, a guy that makes you go "hummana hummana hummana good god almighty let this be heaven" when u kiss him doesnt have to be the one, it just means hes yummy and gets u going he can also get bells ringing in your head and lightining bolts in ur stomach without him being the one.
signals hmmm, not exactly its confidence really, like when ur confident ur hot :) thats all u need... having said that some boys and yes i do mean boys wont know what to do or how to approach so either go for a man or teach 'em like smiling and saying, "you to shy to kiss me??" unless ur patient then u can just wait him out i guess
hmm oh yeah you lean to the right and open ur lips just a little and use ur teeth a little A LITTLE
:) good luck
The whole kissing thing is far more important than it seems. It signifies the beginning of a commitment or the desire to initiate a relationship, the desire to convey the message that you would like to see the other person again or for some people, it could just be the desire to “get into the skirt”.
And then there are those millions of questions that come up:
1. Tongue? No tongue?
2. Today? Next date?
3. Is it too soon?
4. In the car? In front of her door? Dark alley behind the dumpster?
5. Where should your hands be when you are kissing her? Should you hold her tight? Or should u casually grab her butt?
And the list goes on.
Some guys would prefer it if the girl made the first move, saves them the trouble of tasking their brains with all those questions.
Actually, I wouldn’t mind if the girl made the first move. I like strong independent women.
But then, you would just know when it is the right time. It just happens. Of course, there are all those signals, the body language. Like many of you said earlier, angling of the head, the lip biting, the accidental contact. But then sometimes, you just don’t wait for these signals, you just kiss.
But mostly, as I said before, I think the kiss signifies far more than just physical desire. The kiss is a message, a signal in itself.
If you are being true, you are making it known that you would like to see this person again and you would like the relationship to continue and you would like to initiate a commitment.
Or it could just mean “I wanna jump your bones right now”
Personally, if I kiss the girl, it doesn’t mean I don’t respect her. Call me old fashioned but I kiss when I have deep strong feelings for her.
I have kissed and have been kissed so many times. I have met loads of nice girls but I still haven’t met that special someone. So girls, I am a handsome eligible bachelor. And I hang out in starbucks on cornice in Jeddah :) LOL
well done DC ur website is now a matchmaker service
and i want in..
my name is tomomoshi
i'm a single white female...same traits different hairstyle ;)
Ahmed,
i hope what ur saying is true man but u never know :)
Agnon,
sophism???
Taqo,
no it doesn't :)
and i'm not really into labels so no such thing as a guy's job in my book :)
Palo- Girl,
point out her flaws to her and she'll shut up and u'll feel better !!! just kidding, or AM I , NYAAAAAAAHAHAH :|
arabiannight,
i know , it's due out in May , YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY :)
go to msn and checkout some filming footage, the wardrobe is outrageous i just love it :)
Sweet Anger,
i totally agree hence, "or until the hotti from the what if post comes along" comment ;)
oh and define little !!
Mido,
have we a hopeless romantic on our hands ??
"Dark alley behind the dumpster", i guess not Mr. Butt grabber !
Jeddah Gals, u heard the man , check him out , kiss him and send me my commission ;) --- OK i sound like a pimp !!
Tomomoshi,
that's i good idea, i think i'm gonna start a matching service on my blog , a post a week :)
ohhhhh and please tell me u have her metallic coat, it's so yummy :)
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