Getting Ahead !

Asswipe: Hey u , it’s been a while
DC: I know , what’s new with u
Asswipe: Nothing much , I was actually talking about BJs, with my friend
DC: Oh Really, interesting choice of topic …. And the verdict is??
Asswipe: She is against them but she likes foreplay
DC: isn’t that what foreplay is ?!!!!
Asswipe: That’s a part of it but there are other things
DC: and where do u stand?
Asswipe: I would never do it
DC: Do you want to get it?
Asswipe: I guess so
DC: How do u expect to get something you aren’t willing to do, hasn’t it occurred to you that she might find the idea of going down on you equally disgusting as the idea of u going down on her!!!!!!
Asswipe: I guess so… but I am ok with the idea of not getting it if it means I won’t have to do it !
DC: fair enough but never say never !!!
Asswipe: OH it’s never in this case!

In my friend’s case , he wasn’t going to start asking for something he wasn’t willing to do but unfortunately my research proved that this wasn’t the case with most men, they expect and even ask for it without the decency or inclination to return the favor !!!!

This is especially evident in the naming of this act, which I personally find somewhat disturbing but that’s beside the point!!

Think about it, a girl going down on a guy is called a Blow Job while a guy going down on a girl is often referred to as Eating Out … ewwwwww to graphic!!

The first one is called a job, meaning that it is something people are expected to do and the norm in most cases while the later is a required taste and occasional. Not everyone likes to eat out all the time and some are extremely picky and will only frequent specific restaurants. At the end of the day, they aren’t really expected or obligated to do it. It’s a choice that only a few choose to exercise!!

That attitude honestly makes me furious because it doesn’t only apply to this scenario in particular. Most men but I’m not generalizing expect things from women that they themselves aren’t willing to do, why is that ???!!! ( and NO I’m not generalizing, I said most not al, ur dealing with a politically correct gal here people )

- When a couple gets married, the female is expected to change the way she behaves a lot more than the male does.
- When a couple has kids, the female is expected to quit her job and stay with the kids even if she is the breadwinner. Furthermore, if she chooses not to quit her job, she is tricked into feeling guilty about her unthinkable behavior.
- Females are expected to have never done or experienced anything in the love or sex department while the men are free to roam free and spread their seeds. A non experienced man isn’t a man after all and an experienced female is nothing more than a filthy whore !
- The female is expected to take care of the house even if both parties work
- The female is expected to do this , and not do that ………..the list just goes on and on !!!

here’s a thought, we are all human so don’t expect things from others you aren’t willing to do!

So I call on you my upperly and backsidedly inflated daughters of eve to get off ur knees and take a stand, literary and abstain from pleasing those who don’t intend to reciprocate your generosity.

In the words of the cynical yet wise Miranda from Sex and the City “I'll go down on him, if that's what I need to do to get him to go down on me."

Now we can’t have a post without a few questions to fuel the curiosity of this Dazed & Confused gal , can we ?!!!

Didn’t think so ;)

Ladies first:
1- Would you be willing to do the job if required? If yes move to question 2 , if not please elaborate why not.
2- Do you do it because
a. You like to do It
b. You just want to please him/her (u never know !!)
c. If you don’t give it to him , he will get it elsewhere and that is something you won’t risk happening
3- Would you ask ur significant other to reciprocate if he didn’t offer ?
4- Would you continue to do him if he refuses to do you?

Gents:
1- Would you ask your gal to give u a BJ if she doesn’t offer to do it herself ?
2- If your significant other refuses to give u a BJ will you get it elsewhere , and do you consider that cheating ( please be honest )
3- Would you be willing to please your gal as well ? if yes move to question 3 , if not please elaborate why not.
4- Would you offer to do it yourself or only do it if she requests it?
5- I heard that some men won’t ask their wives to go down on them because they associate the act with prostitutes and back alleys, is that true ?

In conclusion, the balance sheet has to balance people , like OMG that’s why it’s called a balance sheet. If it doesn’t, an adjustment transaction should be passed…. No way around it people, the books have to be accurate !!!

P.S I just thought of a gr8 business idea , relationship auditors and consultants agency ……. I’m so patenting this concept , EY watch out , DC is gonna give you a run for ur money : )