The Ugly Truth

I won’t start this post apologizing for being away for so long and neglecting my baby and wasting your time with my lame thigh excuses. All I want you guys to know is that I am back with a vengeance and I hope to rekindle the relationship I had with Saudi and the City’s loyal readers :)

So WHY AM I BACK?????

I watched a brilliant and refreshing romantic comedy today “The Ugly Truth” that was anti cheesy and ohhhh so funny and enlightening :)

After I got home I just found myself opening Bella and starting to type away.

The cliffs notes version of the movie” gorgeous McUptighty girl looking for love. Mega hot McJerky wants to prove to the world that there is no such thing as love and that women should accept the fact that men are shallow sex driven animals. McUptighty loathes McJerky while he wants to get in her pants, they are stuck working together and strike a deal ….so McJerky helps McUptighty get lifted up “Literally” and land her neighbor McCharmy, McJerky then turns McSofty and Miss formally known as McUptighty dumps McCharmy for Reformd McJerky. ……. U GUYS STILL WITH ME?!!

This movie reconfirmed the so called myth that “Nice guys finish last” It’s sad but tough luck, they most defiantly do MOST OF THE TIME at least but not for the reasons most people think!!!

I was recently on a date with an extremely nice gentlemen who fits most “lists” perfectly, I even had a great time and there were no awkward moments at all but I couldn’t help but miss the “B Factor” you know what I’m talking about, Butterflies, Back and forth arguments, Back talking, boom boom pow , Bonanza , enough Bsssssssssss?!!!!! ( u get the point) I wanted my B factor DAMMIT …..why didn’t this guy tick my Buttons. Why didn’t he attempt to make fun of me so that I can top him with a witty come Back ??? (More Bs heheheh) Back to my point (sorry couldn’t help that last one !)

Why did he enjoy everything I had to say or at least pretended to , why didn’t he disagree with me, why did he have to be so predictable , why did he call to confirm before and arrive early, why was he PERFECT???????????

Am I listening to myself?????? I’m messed up ……. Here I am describing the perfect smart, witty gentlemen and all I can think of is why wasn’t he a jerk!!!

He deprived me of the right to bitch and moan and complain about how all men are “dogs” and that we women are better off alone! The existing theory on why us girls like the so called “Bad Guy” is that we like the idea of being sooo special that we actually tamed these wild horses. We get the ultimate ego boost of being fantabulous to a point that we were able to turn this wild beastly creature to a stallion anyone would be proud to ride (no pun intended)! That best of breed that will walk, trot, canter, and gallop at your demand yet maintains the allure of a stallion.

I on the other hand don’t think that’s it, even if most people do!! I have on of those Dazed and Confused theories on the way ……… oh ya u know u guys missed them , admit it……. Whatever I did :P

We go after the wrong people because we need someone to blame once it fizzles out.

Like Hell will we ever utter the words “it’s me not you” that’s ur line guys not ours!

We are very smart creatures that unconsciously manage to fool the person who knows us best into believing that there is no one out there that is amazing enough for us. We do that to protect ourselves from facing the truth that maybe things didn’t workout because of us, because God Forbid, we weren’t smart enough, pretty enough, were too controlling or were just plain boring ……

I think we do it because we need to feel superior, we need someone that has far more flaws than we do. We need to be able to feel and shout “I’m the Nuetella ” a.k.a the shit ( side note, who coined that stupid line…. Why would I use shit to validate how fabulous I am that’s stupid an I most definitely aint no shit (double negative, sue ME ) ……..i’m the Nuetella, the icecream, red velvet cupcakes, ….u get the idea pick what u love most and say it with me girls “ I’m a Nuetella” u guys can settle for shit or a good burp if that’s what rocks ur boats….MENTAL PICTURE !!!! )

Back to the post………We end up purchasing the flashy device everyone wants over and over again, The device we come to love and depend on till WHAM the warranty expires and the damn thing starts to fail us !!!!!! But why did this device die out???

Could it had been because we were too clumsy with it and kept abusing and dropping it everywhere, could it have been because we overused it and wouldn’t give it a break, or maybe it was due to the excessive bedazzling and changes we tried to make 2 it to “look better”????

NOP , we blame the manufacturer :P

So a note to u “ Nice Guys” we don’t necessarily pick the bad guy because he excites us more or because there is something inherently wrong with ur kind maybe due to excessive breastfeeding nature………maybe it’s due to us needing a hanger to mount all of our insecurities and faults on???!!!

DAMN I’m messed up but please think about it girls, I could be on to something here! Missed u all like chocolate ( don’t get the missed u like hell thing either !!).

Dazed is Out. .