Saudi and the City

2008-06-02T00:36:00.007+04:00

If u can’t judge a book by it’s cover, can u judge it by it’s TOC?!

We all have this special someone in our lives that we know everything about yet don’t really know anything at all. Someone we crush over and secretly fanaticize about but not necessarily have any real feelings for!

OH don’t look at me like that…you know exactly who I’m talking about. I call them “Our It” people. (Not to be confused with cousin IT from the Adams Family, waaaay to hairy for my taste!!)

“Our It” people; the prom king and queen, the cute elevator girl, the cute doctor who can’t seem to diagnose the condition we don’t really have!!
Common guys, admit it. We all have one of those people in our lives, we just occasionally suppress them when we are preoccupied with other viable prospects.

We never really talk to “Our It” people because we put them on such high pedestals and idolize them to a point where we forgot that they are actually normal people who pee and pass gas just like the rest of us (sorry for the mental image guys. Just watched the episode of Sex and the City were Carry farts in front of Mr.Big in bed)!

Even though, we can never muster up the courage to talk to “Our It” people in person, we have this strange confidence that once we do actually establish contact that they were surely going to fall head over heals for our fabulous selves!

Well people, yours truly actually mustered up the courage to approach her “It person”!

The cover of that book was ohhh so fine to say the least; attractive, catchy, juicy and very promising. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said about its content!!

I knew the book had mixed reviews and was deemed a bit too R rated for my taste, but I couldn’t resist picking it up anyways to find out for my self!

Idiot, unmotivated, shallow, sexist, party animal are some of the words that come to mind. I honestly think this dude doesn’t have any goals or aspirations that transcend exercising the muscle that doesn’t rhyme with train, which I assume is the only functioning one this dude has!!!!!!!!

Am I being harsh, nasty even bitchy? Maybe, but this yummy idiot ruined the vision I had of him in a few minutes. Why couldn’t he just shut up and look pretty?!!!

Have u ever watched a kick ass movie commercial and gotten really excited about it only to get really disappointed once you actually watched the movie. Maybe because the movie was shit or because you expected way too much that there was no way for it to live up to your expectations?? Well…that’s exactly how I felt!

They say “you can’t judge a book by its cover” mainly because covers can be misleading and depend on how well they are marketed!
Personally, I say why not? A book’s cover is chosen by its author to reflect what the book is all about, and if it’s too vague, it’s table of content could do the trick!

Having said that, every once in a while you get a book u can’t help but pick up and read along with to see what it’s all about. That’s what I have decided to do, so I am currently attempting to read that book, very slowly and not that often but hey, at least I’m trying to read it :)

So far, not that interested but I don’t think I’m ready to put it down yet and move on, at least not until I find a book more interesting to read ;)

So tell me:
1- Would you judge a book by it’s cover , explain why or why not?
2- If you were to choose a book cover for urself , what would it be?
3- What cover of books attracts you the most ?

2008-04-14T11:51:00.004+04:00

Shameless!!!!

It seems like I haven’t written a post in ages… over a month is ages in the blogsphere, Seriously, Seriously, SERIOUSLY!! (Me and my Grey’s Anatomy moments, sorry couldn’t help myself, btw, the new season starts airing again on the 24th of April, YAAAAAAAAAAY ☺ )

My apologies, but this Dazed and Confused gal has been swamped, preoccupied, depressed, unmotivated and now royally confused!!! (That’s a first!)

Nonetheless, I have decided to look at the brighter side of things and appreciate the new chapter of my life that is about to start soon, whish me luck guys :)

In attempt to inflate my somewhat deflated ego, I am gonna partake in a bit of shameless promoting…BARE WITH ME , this is gonna be a long one !

1- Over 10,000 hits yaaaaaaaaaay, looking forward to the next 10,000 (better get
cracking guys)
2- Saudi and the City is now tooting it. Toot is a selctive blog directory or at least i have
been told that lists diverse blogs from all around the Middle East. I was extremely
excited to be featured and encourage you to vote for Saudi and the City since voting
for myself isn’t landing me on the top 10 list !!!!
3- The always gracious The Seeker has been kind enough to award me with both the
thinker and you make my day awards. Thank you very much for always making my
day with such awards : )
4- Mr. Gabriel has written a review of Saudi and the City and posted on his blog. I was
suuuuuuper excited when he mentioned that to me and i rushed to his blog to read
my review. Surprise surprise, it was in GREEK !!!
being the self centered gal that i am , i had him translate his amazing and well
thought of review fetured below :)

She is Dazed and Confused just like her bloggish nickname : Dazed and Confused or DC as she signs. And how could she not be dazed and confused since she graduated from an American university and having no other choice but to obey her parents and the socioreligious status quo she had to return to her birthplace in Saudi Arabia just a year ago.

Has anyone of us ,actually, ever thought that it is illegal to drive because of your gender, to go out without an escort because of your gender, not to have anywhere to go out at night because of your gender, to run the risk of getting arrested because of the way you’re dressed?
The Dazed had to deal with all this and still does everyday and –as she writes- she would have gone off her head if she wouldn’t find her emergency exit through .. blogging.

No, this isn’t about a blog that depresses you. On the contrary, the only thing DC is left with (and that obviously is her most powerful weapon) is her effortless humor, confused (that , too) with frequent deathly thoughts. Every post is for us a window overlooking a financially powerful society that suffocates its citizens with its own wealth. Is it an oxymoron? Yes, at first sight, it is.

Her first posts were bitter and angry to some extent. Her studies granted her a comfortable life but at the same time predetermined, too. Despite all this, she isn’t so critical about her country’s leadership as she is about the citizens themselves, including herself too. “We are being controlled because we allow them to control us and are unwilling to stand up and fight for what we believe in and really want. We are too comfortable with the ways things are and aren’t willing to step away from our comfort zone to pursue a life and a dream we know nothing about”

So, in her first post she made a list of the 101 THINGS SHE WANTS TO DO BEFORE SHE DIES which I have copied word to word putting in bold letters the wishes that have a high degree of difficulty, in case she would like to fulfil them then.

1. adopt an orphan for each child I give birth to
2. attend a film premier
3. attend NYC's fashion week
4. become a famous international actress and win an award
5. become a hacker
6. become the first female president of Saudi Arabia
7. bid on something ridiculously expensive during an auction then pretend that I have alzheimer's
8. body paint
9. call all the people I don't like and tell them so
10. call all the people I love and tell them so
11. call my X and ask him if he ever really loved me
12. climb Mount Everest
13. date a celebrity
14. direct a movie
15. dive into a bowling alley
16. do laser hair removal
17. Do my M.B.A
18. do the Monopoly board pub crawl
19. Drive a formula one car
20. drive in Saudi Arabia
21. eat an entire chicken by myself with my hands like they do in the Egyptian movies!
22. exercise on a regular basis
23. fall in love
24. fart in an elevator then SCREAM who did it
25. get a 4 hand massage
26. get arrested and spend a night in jail
27. get stoned
28. go camping in the desert and the beach
29. go on a Safari (Desert Safari done, AMAAAAZING, Jungle Safari pending )
30. go on the Sex and The City tour in NYC
31. go to a movie theatre that's playing a horror movie and randomly grab people at very intense moments
32. go to Hajj
33. go to space
34. go to the love planet festival in Prague
35. grab a Mo6awa3 (religious police) from his lehya (beard) and threaten to demanilize him if he bothers any other girl again
36. grab a stranger , tell him he's my soul mate, kiss him then leave
37. have my own radio and/or TV. Show
38. have sex in a public place , preferably in an elevator (With my future husband if I get married. So thanks to anyone volunteering to help me out with this one but I’ll have to pass :)
39. hot air ballooning
40. join a TV reality show
41. jump from a waterfall then bathe under it 42. jump into a pool in a wedding dress
43. keep blogging for at least 5 years ( 1 down, 4 to go )
44. Knee George W.
45. lean how to ski, surf and sail
46. learn how to blow dry my hair
47. learn how to cook anything !
48. learn how to drive a manual car
49. learn how to drive a plane and a motorcycle (finally been on a motorcycle in Saudi !!)
50. learn how to play baloot, chess and poker (Poker done)
51. learn how to play the guitar
52. learn how to put make up properly
53. learn how to put on nail polish within the nail border!
54. learn how to Salsa , Meringue , Cha Cha ,Belly dance, Mambo and ball room dance like a professional
55. learn how to speak Italian , Spanish, French, Hebrew and Urdu
56. learn how to spell like an adult!
57. learn how to type properly
58. learn the names of all the countries including their capitals and languages spoken in each
59. mail a letter to a stranger and include $500 in the envelop. ask that person to add as much money as he/she would like then mail the money and the letter to another person in another country and do the same thing then mail me the status of the letter.when the letter has roamed the world the last person should mail me back all the money and the letter showing it's route and I then donate all the money to a charity ( this is to test people's greed)
60. master flash , Photoshop and illustrator
61. Max out my credit card (almost!!!)
62. memorize The Holy Quran
63. paraglide 64. participate in a treasure hunt
65. participate in a water gun war
66. participate in the largest human domino in the world
67. play a part in my favorite TV show
68. ride a Gondola in Venice with someone I love
69. Ride a horse on the beach (Does a Camel count!)
70. ride a wild horse
71. ride the luggage rolling trail
72. ride the subway for an entire day aimlessly and discover new places 73. ride the worlds biggest rollercoaster
74. run with the bulls in Spain
75. save someone's life
76. scream don't marry that person @ a wedding then run out
77. scuba dive the Barrier Reef
78. shave my head 79. shoot a gun
80. sing a duet with my favorite singer
81. skinny dip @ midnight 82. Sky Dive
83. spend an entire day as a man and see if I can actually get away with it 84. stage dive or crowd surf
85. stall traffic and refuse to move my car and when people ask me why I just say na7asa (cus. i can) !
86. start a revolution
87. start my own business
88. start my own clothing line
89. stay in an ice hotel
90. study the Kama Sutra and put theory into practice (again with my future husband people)
91. swim with dolphins
92. swim with sharks
93. take part in a police car chase
94. tell my parents that I'm pregnant and that I don't know who the father is just to see their reaction
95. travel the world and see the 7 wonders
96. volunteer in a refugee camp
97. watch all the movies that have won Oscars
98. wear the hejab (headscarf)
99. white river rafting
100. write a best seller preferably about the 101 things i did before i died and film it in a documentary :)
101. mail a letter of this list to my future self in 20 years
The Dazed seems to have made a bet with herself to find out if she can actually fulfil some of her wishes in a society which does not give her the possibility to have an “identity” and through tragicomic incidents of her everyday life-those as well as her faithful readers- realise that…
‘ something sucks in the Kingdom..’
I wonder when she will write her first book. Or is this, her book?

Blog’s title : Dazed and Confused
Favourite post : ALL OF THEM
For a start:
November 2006 and December 2006 posts
especially'is having a penis a prerequisite to living in Saudi Arabia?'
Country : Saudi Arabia
Language : English (fortunately..)

Thank you very much Gabriel for this review . I especially enjoyed the party about my deadly thoughts !!!!

Just a few corrections, I moved back to Saudi over 3 years ago and can go our without an escort despite my Gender : )

5- the review above ties perfectly with this point. Our own resident Blog perv , the one and only Mr. Dotsson tagged me in his “6 Things You Should Do Before You Die" post because he thinks i should stop asking my readers what they think and start thinking for myself !!!
Copied
This is an interesting tag, and here goes:

1. Post these rules before presenting your list.
2. List 6 actions or achievements you think every person should accomplish before turning 18.
3. There are no conditions on what can be included on the list.
4. At the end of your blog, choose 6, or less, people to get tagged and list their names.
5. The tagged peeps write their own blog entry with their 6 suggestions.
6. Leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

***
Well my dear Dotty , i have 101 of them listed above , beat that !

I tag , Mr. Agnon, Mr. Ahmed, Asswipe, eshda3wa, Gabriel and the seeker :)

Long one Ha......... i feel much better now, thank you very much :P

2008-02-15T19:21:00.004+04:00

I Don’t

Hi guys ,

Guess who was briefly back in the picture recently… It’s non other than “The Crush”. For those of you recent readers, “The Crush” is the guy who finally awakened this Dazed and Confused’s emotions from a long, long, TRUST ME, LONG slumber and sparked her interest for a while but unfortunately left the country before the 2 of us could explore anything.

He wasn’t back for long, so his parents who are desperately trying to marry him off were working double time.

The Crush: my parents are pressuring me to meet someone and they are trying to introduce me to girls left and right
DC: just tell them that you’re not ready and stand up for urself man!!
The Crush: I know, I know but they are not listening and i don't want to break their hearts
DC: BREAK THEIR HEARTS, dude, GROW SOME, seriously!
The Crush: Ok, that’s attractive!
DC: Then don't complain if you can’t take the heat and don’t wanna take a stand!
The Crush: I know but they are my family and they just want me to at least start talking to someone
DC: then tell them that you are interested in someone and maybe they’ll back off
The Crush: Can I tell them about u then? (using his, annoying voice that he uses when he is trying to act all cute and wants to say something in passing)
DC: Don't u dare or even think about it
The Crush: oh Waw ... No hesitation there !!!
You know, it would be awesome if we ended up together. U over analyze things and i don't think about anything, opposites attract u know!
DC: they attract but they don't work. I told you before that you are the last person I would think of marrying, our families and backgrounds are just way too different and I don’t like to complicate my life!!!!!
If you mention anything to them, I WILL KILL YOU !!!
The Crush: freaked u out hahahahahahahah
DC: very much , now seriously don't mention a thing

Most girls would have been ecstatic or at least flattered to hear that the guy they are interested in brought up future plans, even if he was joking about it. I on the other hand started to hyperventilate and felt like I was trapped in a tiny dark room flooded with thousands of spiders crawling up my skin!!!!

SERIOUSLY, What is wrong with me ?!!!!
Am I missing the bride gene and should be put into a test tube and studied. Am I a defected model that is bound to be recalled for part deficiencies?!!

As I mentioned before in my previous posts, I am far from being a player and don’t really see much action (actually any) in my life but the idea of committing to someone honestly freaks the hell out of me !

I have even noticed that I unintentionally fall for the people who I know it will never work out with and that aren’t really interested in forming a long term relationship, and push away the people who are and sabotage things with them as soon as I feel like things could potentially get serious.

I read somewhere the following about commitment phoebes:

“They have a self fulfilling prophecy that they can't meet someone who is right for them. Interestingly they start relationships that are doomed to fail thereby reinforcing their-fulfilling prophecy of failure. And they have a habit of leaving and returning to the same failing relationship over a lapse of months or years. Maybe that's their way of avoiding commitment thereby hurting themselves in the process".

I kinda think this has some truth to it. WHO in their right mind would tell the person they have/maybe had a crush on, “you are the last person I would ever think of marrying”???!!!

Someone SHOOT me please!

I even had the ODASITY to follow that LAME excuse of a line with an even lamer one “It’s not personal” (*handing you the gun) !.

Actually, shooting me would be too merciful; I should be killed in an extremely miserable and torturous way, any suggestions??? (You have a sadist in the making , how attractive…..I make my parents proud !!!)

Why was I so afraid of the idea, was it him or is it me??

Does my fear of commitment stem from the fear that I might find someone better along the way, is it a fear of responsibility, is it a fear that I won’t be happy, or is it a fear that I will loose myself and wont be able to become the person I aspire to become?

I just don’t think I’m ready to give up the idea of me to become an us.
Everyone says that marriage is a merger of two souls and two hearts, or a merger of bank accounts in some cases. However, we all know that in any merger someone always gets the worse end of the deal and gets let behind.

Does the HP and Compaq's merger ring a bell??What’s Compaq some of you might ask, EXACTLY my point!

Does my fear of commitment stem from the fear that I will be merged and no longer will be me?!

I wonder if I will ever meet the man I think is good enough for me or that meets my exhaustive and very contradicting list. The man that will entice me to take the plunge and merge?

Maybe, I will never meet him and that I will never settle down. Maybe my fear of commitment isn’t a disease that needs to be cured, maybe some of us are just built differently and not meant to settle down in the traditional sense.

“Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them.” Carrie Bradshaw

For those of you fellow commitment phoebes:
Do you think this hesitation and fear is because we just aren’t ready yet or is it something we can never get rid of and just learn to tame and
hide?

For the non-commitment phoebes who get into a relationships with those who are: Do you do it because you didn’t know that they were when you got into the relationship or do you view them as a challenge and taming then is a victory for you ?

2008-01-22T17:28:00.000+04:00

“I Like You Just The Way You Are”

I was watching The Little Mermaid, which is one of my favorite Disney cartoons of all time. Although I watched this movie countless times before as a kid and as an adult, this time it seemed like I was watching it with brand new skeptic and critical eyes.

Behind the dancing fishies, the sarcastic lobster, the handsome prince and the controlling father, is a story of passionate young women and the journey she takes to follow her dreams and find where she truly belongs. However, she ends up losing her path along the way and compromising who she really is… and for what or for whom?!

She ends up giving up her family, her home, her life, her beautiful voice and everything that makes her who she is in exchange for legs and the chance to win the heart of her prince.

Relationships are risky, uncertain and require a lot of work, including a bit of compromising and give and take every once in a while to keep the relationship scale balanced. Otherwise, the couple’s inevitable differences will eventually make them grow apart.

Some people view compromise as a sign of weakness rather than sacrifice. Compromise is nothing like that at unless you start compromising your core beliefs, the things you love, the people you cherish and what makes you “YOU”.

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and The city,
"In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising?"

When you start becoming someone other than yourself to please your partner, and start giving up or doing things to keep that love alive, light bulbs should light in your head !!! (P.S how cool would that be if it literally happened, Seriously , SERIOUSLY !!! sorry couldn’t help the Grey’s Anatomy moment :) )

Back to the topic…..

Maybe something aren’t worth saving and the risk of losing them is hardly a tragedy compared to the risk of losing yourself! I read a very nice piece about compromise

“Contrary to a very popular belief that compromise supports love; the truth is compromise erodes love. When you compromise yourself for the sake of the relationship, very quickly resentment is experienced, not love. Love and resentment are mutually exclusive. They don't live in the same house; they don't even live in the same suburb!”

That person couldn’t have said it better. More often than not, someone in the relationship starts resenting the other person for making them give up so much of what makes them happy. Their life didn’t turn the way they expected it to, they aren’t really satisfied, and don’t like the person they became. They have nobody to blame but the other person, they surly won’t blame themselves!!!

So tell me How far are you willing to go for the person you love??

Start dressing differently, quit your job, quit smoking or drinking , move to another city or country, change your religion, sacrifice your friends or family ……… where do you draw the line?

You can never find someone who you like everything about, that’s just beyond impossible but when we choose to love someone, don’t we choose to love everything about them and start embracing their flaws. Isn’t that what for better or for worse is about??!!!

If the slightly overweight, clumsy and sometimes embarrassing to be around yet ultimately charming Bridget Jones can get the dreamy Mr. Darcy to utter the words "I like you just the way you are." … I’m sorry, I just won’t settle for anything less!!!

The way I see it….. and yes a theory is coming your way…

We should approach relationship like Mercury; it has the ability to adapt without losing its composition. So I choose to be Mercury gal !!!
Damn, that sounds like a comic book super heroine in the making…….. copy rights people!!! :)

Now tell me, How far are you willing to go and compromise for the person you love??

2007-12-24T18:40:00.000+04:00

Happy Holidays :)

Hi guys ,

i would like to wish you all a Eid Mubarak, a Marry Christmas & a Happy New Year :)

I'm gonna take a short break for a few weeks, I'll hopefully come back rejuvenated, energized and with enough time to post as much as i hope to.

I'm planning on starting an e-mail list to send those of you who don't like to use RSS feed my blog updates. if you would like to be added to the mailing list , drop a comment or shoot me an e-mail saudiandthecity@hotmail.com

c u all soon :)

DC

2007-12-10T23:52:00.000+04:00

Getting Ahead !

Asswipe: Hey u , it’s been a while
DC: I know , what’s new with u
Asswipe: Nothing much , I was actually talking about BJs, with my friend
DC: Oh Really, interesting choice of topic …. And the verdict is??
Asswipe: She is against them but she likes foreplay
DC: isn’t that what foreplay is ?!!!!
Asswipe: That’s a part of it but there are other things
DC: and where do u stand?
Asswipe: I would never do it
DC: Do you want to get it?
Asswipe: I guess so
DC: How do u expect to get something you aren’t willing to do, hasn’t it occurred to you that she might find the idea of going down on you equally disgusting as the idea of u going down on her!!!!!!
Asswipe: I guess so… but I am ok with the idea of not getting it if it means I won’t have to do it !
DC: fair enough but never say never !!!
Asswipe: OH it’s never in this case!

In my friend’s case , he wasn’t going to start asking for something he wasn’t willing to do but unfortunately my research proved that this wasn’t the case with most men, they expect and even ask for it without the decency or inclination to return the favor !!!!

This is especially evident in the naming of this act, which I personally find somewhat disturbing but that’s beside the point!!

Think about it, a girl going down on a guy is called a Blow Job while a guy going down on a girl is often referred to as Eating Out … ewwwwww to graphic!!

The first one is called a job, meaning that it is something people are expected to do and the norm in most cases while the later is a required taste and occasional. Not everyone likes to eat out all the time and some are extremely picky and will only frequent specific restaurants. At the end of the day, they aren’t really expected or obligated to do it. It’s a choice that only a few choose to exercise!!

That attitude honestly makes me furious because it doesn’t only apply to this scenario in particular. Most men but I’m not generalizing expect things from women that they themselves aren’t willing to do, why is that ???!!! ( and NO I’m not generalizing, I said most not al, ur dealing with a politically correct gal here people )

- When a couple gets married, the female is expected to change the way she behaves a lot more than the male does.
- When a couple has kids, the female is expected to quit her job and stay with the kids even if she is the breadwinner. Furthermore, if she chooses not to quit her job, she is tricked into feeling guilty about her unthinkable behavior.
- Females are expected to have never done or experienced anything in the love or sex department while the men are free to roam free and spread their seeds. A non experienced man isn’t a man after all and an experienced female is nothing more than a filthy whore !
- The female is expected to take care of the house even if both parties work
- The female is expected to do this , and not do that ………..the list just goes on and on !!!

here’s a thought, we are all human so don’t expect things from others you aren’t willing to do!

So I call on you my upperly and backsidedly inflated daughters of eve to get off ur knees and take a stand, literary and abstain from pleasing those who don’t intend to reciprocate your generosity.

In the words of the cynical yet wise Miranda from Sex and the City “I'll go down on him, if that's what I need to do to get him to go down on me."

Now we can’t have a post without a few questions to fuel the curiosity of this Dazed & Confused gal , can we ?!!!

Didn’t think so ;)

Ladies first:
1- Would you be willing to do the job if required? If yes move to question 2 , if not please elaborate why not.
2- Do you do it because
a. You like to do It
b. You just want to please him/her (u never know !!)
c. If you don’t give it to him , he will get it elsewhere and that is something you won’t risk happening
3- Would you ask ur significant other to reciprocate if he didn’t offer ?
4- Would you continue to do him if he refuses to do you?

Gents:
1- Would you ask your gal to give u a BJ if she doesn’t offer to do it herself ?
2- If your significant other refuses to give u a BJ will you get it elsewhere , and do you consider that cheating ( please be honest )
3- Would you be willing to please your gal as well ? if yes move to question 3 , if not please elaborate why not.
4- Would you offer to do it yourself or only do it if she requests it?
5- I heard that some men won’t ask their wives to go down on them because they associate the act with prostitutes and back alleys, is that true ?

In conclusion, the balance sheet has to balance people , like OMG that’s why it’s called a balance sheet. If it doesn’t, an adjustment transaction should be passed…. No way around it people, the books have to be accurate !!!

P.S I just thought of a gr8 business idea , relationship auditors and consultants agency ……. I’m so patenting this concept , EY watch out , DC is gonna give you a run for ur money : )

2007-11-26T11:59:00.000+04:00

To Fart Or Not To Fart, That Is The Question ?

Relationships are best measured by farting. That is, the stages in a relationship can be defined by the stages of farting.

Stage One: (Conspiracy of silence)

This is the fantasy period where both parties pretend that they have no bodily waste. This illusion is quickly shattered by the first shy … “oh do u fart?” Followed by the sheepish admission of truth.

Stage Tow: (Fart honeymoon)

This is the period of deeper intimacy where both parties find each other’s gas just the cutest thing in the world but of course no honeymoon can last forever!

Stage Three: (Critical fork in the fart)

This is the period where the fart either looses its power to amuse and embarrass their by signifying true love, or else it begins to annoy and disgust thereby symbolizing all that is blocked and rancid in the formally beloved

Twisted, disturbing, nauseating yet brilliant lines from the new movie “ Love and other Disasters”

Seriously, is burping the new way of saying I like you and farting the new way of saying I love you??!!!!!

This reminds me of my friend Kuku who measure intimacy and commitment with the ability of both parties to do their business in front of each other !

Kuku: you should be so comfortable with your significant other to the extent where
both of you are able to do your business without being embarrassed. It shows
that both of you are extremely intimate and committed to each other. I don’t
think I can marry a guy who isn’t comfortable sharing that with me!
The Wise One: that is absolutely disgusting. Some things need to be kept private and
aren’t meant to be shared.
Kuku: your too uptight, I converted Dala3 and I will not rest till I convert you Wise One
The Wise One: Dala3, don’t tell me you subscribe to her lunatic theory now ?!
Dala3: Not to her extent, but I wouldn’t mind it
The Wise One: You guys aren’t normal, absolutely revolting!!!

Certain people think in relationships everything should be shared, vows, house, bank accounts even bathroom time. They view farting and the exchange of bodily fluids as a sign of intimacy. While others believe that even though we should form a unified one , we should still keep certain things about ourselves and our lives private.

which school of thinking do you subscribe to ?

This got my unique, yet slightly twisted and occasionally perverted mind thinking... if we can measure the stages of relationships with the stages of farting, it’s only fitting to redefine the stages of intimacy don’t u think ?

Behold the new basis according to yous truly - Dazed & Confused :)

First base: Farting in front of each other
Second Base: peeing in front of each other
Third Base: crapping in front of each other
Home Run: I don’t wanna go there!!

i bet u'll think twice before rushing between basis now :P

To fart or not to fart , that is the question?

I’m actually asking, so dish people dish : )

2007-11-18T14:19:00.000+04:00

Like A Virgin, Touched For The Very First Time!

We don’t realize it till we loose it but your memory is everything that you are, without it you’re a blank slate, reborn without point of reference, experiences even opinions. A child looking at the world with new eyes.

Words of Samantha played by Christina Applegate from the new show “Samantha Who?”, a comedy about a 30 year old lawyer who, after becoming the victim of a hit and run accident, develops amnesia and tries to escape the B**** she supposedly was and re-invent herself as a new person.

Imagine being given this chance, the opportunity to look at the world with new eyes, blue, green, brown, with shades or without ….the sky is the limit.

You have the opportunity to start over with a clean slate. No inner inhibitions or past experiences to learn from.

You have the opportunity to live through everything for the first time all over again, like a virgin, touched for the very first time.

The chance to re-live your first crush , love, heartbreak, kiss, orgasm, fight, black eye, broken bone, death of a loved one, A on a test, F on a test, French frie, ice cream, roller coaster, movie theatre, car….

You have the chance to re-brand yourself whichever way you want ,without costing you a thing and with virtually nothing holding you back.

No one that you remember caring about or are afraid of hurting, no skeletons in the closet that you afraid of coming out, no “I know better” or “I learned my lesson” to hold you back.

You have the ultimate freedom from the restrictions of society, reality and most importantly from you.

What would you do, who would you be. Would you do it all over again, or change who you are completely?

p.s this is a call for Mr. Agnon, come out come out wherever you are, i know ur reading this :)

2007-10-27T23:43:00.000+04:00

Cracks In Our Foundation

Foundation by Kate Nash Lyrics

Thursday night, every thing's fine, except you've got that look in your eye
when I'm tellin' a story and you find it boring,
you're thinking of something to say.
You'll go along with it then drop it and humiliate me in front of our friends.

Then I'll use that voice that you find annoyin' and say something like
"yeah, intelligent input, darlin', why don't you just have another beer then?"

Then you'll call me a bitch
and everyone we're with will be embarrassed,
and I wont give a shit.

My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,
and I know that I should let go,
but I can't.
And every time we fight I know it's not right,
every time that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

You said I must eat so many lemons
'cause i am so bitter.
I said
"I'd rather be with your friends mate 'cause they are much fitter."

Yes, it was childish and you got aggressive,
and I must admit that I was a bit scared,
but it gives me thrills to wind you up.

My finger tips are holding on to the cracks in our foundation,
and I know that I should let go,
but I can't.
And every time we fight I know it's not right,
every time that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

Your face is pasty 'cause you've gone and got so wasted, what a surprise.
Don't want to look at your face 'cause it's makin' me sick.
You've gone and got sick on my trainers,
I only got these yesterday.
Oh, my gosh, I cannot be bothered with this.

Well, I'll leave you there 'till the mornin',
and I purposely wont turn the heating on
and dear God, I hope I'm not stuck with this one.

My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,
and I know that I should let go,
but I can't.
And every time we fight I know it's not right,
every time that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

And every time we fight I know it's not right,
every time that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

“Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it” Ann Landers.

Easier said than done!

How do we let go of a person whom we love or once loved, and who may love us back but just isn’t good for us?

How do we make ourselves let go of the person we at a point in time thought of as The-One?

We hold on although we know deep inside that we deserve better than just some fraction of what we wanted, a fraction of the life we envisioned for ourselves with that person.

We hold on and can’t get ourselves to delete those old e-mails and text message and we go back to them from time to time because they remind us of the love we once shared.

We hold on and can’t get ourselves to delete them from our phone, e-mail and MSN directory and block them instead because we feel comfort in knowing that they are still there.

We hold on and can’t help ourselves from bringing them up in our conversations even if we are talking about world politics and the soaring stock prices.

We hold on and can’t help ourselves from scoping the place and secretly hope that they show up although they are the last people we ever want to see.

That attachment however, has more to do with us as individuals than with the person we refuse to let go off.

Letting go means that we have failed to secure our happy ending. That we have to accept that fact that we aren’t perfect and that we are humans that make mistakes and that we need to let go of our illusion that we can actually control most aspects of our lives.

We can’t comprehend that what once made us so happy no longer does. That not every old car we had and loved can be patched up and become a classic. That sometimes we need to let go of the old to make room for the new .

We are afraid that we might never find the right person for us and that we are letting go of the best person we could ever have.

However, to grow and evolve as people, we need to let go of the life we had, the person we were and embrace the new life , the new us that is ready to become.

Some things are worth fighting for and some things aren’t. When do you think is the right time to keep fighting and when is it the right time to give up and let go? Is it marriage, children, money or just pure love, where do you draw the line?

2007-10-13T16:27:00.000+04:00

“The Circle of Life”

Haaaaaakonaaaaaa Mattata , God I love this movie :)

I would like to start off this post by wishing you all a Happy and Blessed Eid :)

I really value ur comments on my blog and I’ll keep them in mind for the future, and I promises to try and write more to keep u guys interested :)

The summer is over and a new season has come, putting and end to wedding season which was at its peak this year. Honestly, I lost count of how many people I know got hitched the past few months! can I hear lelelelelelelelelelelelelelelelellelelelellelellelelelel (and ya , I can do it for real :P)

However, as happy of a time as it was, this happiness didn’t and couldn’t last forever :(

Unfortunately, we have entered DEATH SEASON. I’ve already been to 4 funerals so far, I just hope I don’t loose count of how many i've been and am going to go to this season!!!!!!!!!

I have noticed a trend a long the years; it starts off with a marriage period which is followed by a death period (God forbid) concluding with a period of having babies.

It’s all calculated actually and makes perfect sense. People get married, start making babies, then people pass a way to make room for the new blood to take over . Depressing But that’s the Circle of life, it’s a wheel of fortune!

Since this is the Season of Death, that’s going to be the topic of my post today. Very fitting considering that it’s Eid and everyone is so happy and joyful don’t u think ?!!

I though it would be nice of me to balance things out for u guys :P

To be more specific, this post is more about how we choose to live and conclude our lives rather than about death itself .

I’ve recently watched 2 back to back movies that I thought were romantic comedies and turned out to be movies about death and how some people choose to live their final day!

I highly recommend both but that’s the last time I request a genera instead of an actual movie!!!!!

The first movie was “2 weeks”, a brilliant piece about the last 2 weeks of a mother’s life that is diagnosed with cancer. Sally field who was amaaaaaaazing in this movie , chooses to use whatever time she has left to bring her family together and help them cope with her upcoming death while settling all her unfinished business.

Extremely moved and a bit depressed, I opted to watch another romantic movie “ Griffin & Phoneix” starring the bubbly Amanda Peet. (Caution, this movie is not for the weak hearted and rainy teary eyes is a very common side effect, and this is coming from a person that laughed through Titanic)!!!!!

It follows the life of Griffin, a man who has just found out that he has an advanced stage of cancer and that he has about a year left to live. While attending a lecture about death and what to expect, he meets phoenix. He conceals his illness from her and lives his final days with the love of his life. There is a twist in the movie which I’m not gonna share because I’m a decent person and anything but a SPOILER, unlike some people who deserve to get their tongues cut out!

These movies got me thinking… and all sorts of questions started popping in my head; when is it gonna be my time to go, how will I go, will I know when and do I really wanna know? ( can’t stop singing , I need to know, I need to know …. Tell me baby cus I need to know……great now my hips can’t stop swinging)!

Back to the serious topic on hand, I did what I always do , I asked my friends and now I’m asking you : )

If you had the choice to know when you are going to die, would you want to know? (just to clarify , I don’t mean knowing well in advance, maybe a year or 2 before)

Personally, I would rather know to be prepared, mostly to repent my sins and live my final days doing good deeds and getting closer to God.
Not surprisingly, most of the people who opted to find out, of different faiths wanted to know for religious reasons as well.

“Do for your life as if your living forever and do for your afterlife as if your dying tomorrow” Most of us Muslims know that but do we really live by it like we should , not likely.

On the other hand, those who opted not to know, thought it would bee too depressing and frightening, and their final days would be lived as if they were already dead, something they definitely didn’t want any part of .

Different people choose to live their final days very differently, how would u choose to live yours ???

2007-09-29T00:05:00.000+04:00

OOOOOOOPPPPs , i'm proud to say that i have just lived up to my name Dazed and Confused cus apparently this Birthday post is a month too soon :|

IDIOT , i know no need to point out the obvious!!!!

this just goes to show how preoccupied my mind is , can i hear an AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH : )

anyhow, I'm not gonna put it down so might as well celebrate it early and i'll link to it next month :)

2007-09-28T13:20:00.000+04:00

Happy Birthday Saudi and The City

I can’t believe it has already been a year since my first post “Is Tivo the new Stevo" !!!

When I moved back to Saudi after I graduated from University, I felt useless, empty and trapped. I was always very active in school and I needed something to channel my wasted energy on.

I needed to vent, and I figured that the blogsphere was the perfect place to do it. For some reason, I found the idea of sharing my deepest inner thoughts and insecurities with a bunch of strangers very liberating!

I Started my blog not knowing if anyone would actually give it the time of the day but I was overwhelmed with the positive response I got from my readers.

I feel the love, now only if it wasn’t virtual (ok that didn’t sound perverted in my head , I swear....by the moon and the starts and the sky, FOCUS DAMMIT FOCUS)

Honestly, I feel a connection with u guys, to the extent that I can anticipate the reactions of some of u while I’m writing!!

I know that Agnon, is gonna fire back with a witty scientific cynical answer and that eshda3wa and arabiannight are gonna relate in some way. I know that Dotsson is gonna manage to turn it into something dirty and that Ahmad is gonna give me advice on what I should and shouldn’t to :)

I figured it would be nice to do a little recap of last year, so here it goes.

1- Most Loyal Reader with the most comments: Mr. Agnon, Shale of Agnon, the Academic Flop… DUDE I LOST TRACK
2- Most Perverted Commenter: Mr. Dotsson
3- Most Controversial & most commented on post: Is Having A Penis A Prerequisite To Living In Saudi Arabia
4- Most Perverted Post: Curiosity Killed the Cat
5- Most Evil Post: For Better Or For Worse Until…
6- Cheesiest Post/s: a tie between C Ya Later & A Few Good Men
7- Most Referred to post: 101 Thing To Do Before I Die
8- My Favorite Theory: The One theory from The Perfect Pair

Feel free to add to the list and boost my over inflated ready to pop ego :)

Seeing how I usually end my posts with questions, I don’t see how this post should be any different.

Rest assured that your answers will be strictly confidential and will only be viewed by pretty much everyone with internet access :|

1- Where did u find out about Saudi and the city ?
2- Why do u read Saudi and The City?
3- What do u like most about this blog?
4- What do u like least about this blog?
5- What topics would u like me to focus on in the future
5- If you could describe this blog in one word what would it be ?
6- Have you recommended this blog to any of your friend , PLEASE DO :)
7- This I leave open to ur comments, questions and marriage proposals ; )

Thank you all for tuning in so far, *raising my non alcoholic glass* …To another year of fashion , passion and bashing… to another year of Saudi and The City :)

p.s I’m sorry for being distant lately, but I’m currently overwhelmed with work and other things so please bare with me for a little longer : )

2007-08-26T17:51:00.000+04:00

Never Been Kissed

ANITA: I swear to God, Jos. When is the last time you went on a real live date?

JOSIE: I'm concentrating on my career right now.

ANITA: Do you own any colored underwear? Stripes? Anything?!

JOSIE: (embarrassed) Anita!

ANITA: Look. You're way under 30, you're cute, some guys find white Carter's underwear sexy !

( Josie laughs in spite of herself)

JOSIE: The right guy is out there. I'm just not going to kiss a whole
bunch of losers to get to him.

ANITA: Yeah, but sometimes kissing the losers can be a fun diversion.

JOSIE: When I finally get kissed, I'll know.

ANITA: Okay. If you've never kissed a guy, we got bigger problems than the underwear!!

JOSIE: I've kissed guys. I've just never kissed a guy. Felt that thing--

CYNTHIA: "That thing"? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

JOSIE: That thing. That moment. You kiss someone and it's like the world around you gets all hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this other person and you know that one person is the person you're meant to be kissing for the rest of your life. And for that one moment you've been given this amazing gift and you want to laugh
and cry at the same time because you're so lucky you found it, and so scared that it will all go away.

CYNTHIA: Damn, girl. You are a writer.

JOSIE : (Writing) Someone once told me that to write well you have to write what you know. This is what I know. I am twenty five years old. I have never really kissed a guy. A geek to the core, most of my childhood years were spent doing extra homework I requested from the teacher.

Do you ever feel like you are living a scene out of a movie ?

I Do all the time… I’m Josie, and her story, her lif eand her words are my own, minus the geek to the core part !

However, unlike Josie, i Dazed & Confused will not stand on the pitcher's mound for the five minutes prior to the beginning of the game waiting for the man of my dreams to come and kiss me , in front of everyone, for my first real kiss (actually just kiss real or not real)!.

SAD I know !!!

It’s not like I’m a nun or have never been out with anyone. Granted, that I’ve only been in one actual relationship but I’ve had ample opportunities to kiss and be kissed, yet it has never happened.

So for those of you gals and lads who are on the same boat, rest assured that you are not alone in this world.

While I was looking for the script of the movie above I came across many groups with girls and guys in their mid twenties and even 30s who are wondering why they haven’t had the chance to kiss anyone before, I also came across the occasional 13 year old horny freaks who complain about not getting it on while they still haven’t grown boobs or facial hair !!

Seriously, why does it always seem that some of us always get all the action while others get none whatsoever. Are there those of us who are kissable and those who aren’t???

I’ve been told by many that I’m an attractive girl, my breath doesn’t stink and I always smell nice, So what’s the deal ?!!!

Do I give out an intimidating vibe or have a sign on my forhead that says “BEWARE, NO ENTRY ZONE”?!!

I’m not a lovey dovey person and I don’t really like to be touched and hugged and all that mushy crap but I sure would still like to be kissed once : ( ( and no this isn’t an invitation )

I’m a very approachable person and the type of girl that all guys love. I’ve been told that on numerous occasions by all sorts of people but loved and approached in what way?!

Now, I’m scared that once I do actually get to this point that I’m gonna pretty much suck cus I don’t know how it’s done!!

Do i lean in or out, left or right , do I stop and ask for directions?!!!

What if I get disappointed and I don’t feel anything, what am I suppose to feel??

How do I know that I’m a bad kisser or that my partner is one , where do the hands go while your kissing assuming that it’s a PG 13 movie ??!!

Hopeless I know , no need to state the obvious !!!!!

Clearly , I don’t have any answers to all my questions , so that’s where you my loyal readers come in : )

Guys,

1- Have you ever been interested in a girl and really wanted to kiss her but never got yourself to do it ?
2- If yes , Why ?
-Was it because you were too intimidated by her
-You were just too afraid of being rejected
- Something else (Please elaborate)
3- How do you feel about a girl making the first move and kissing you?
4- If you usually go for the kill, do you wait for some queues from the girl first, if yes what type of queues?
5- When do you think is the best time to kiss a girl?

Girls ,

1- What type of queues do you give out when you wanna be kissed cus I think I missed that chapter !!
2- If your guys never makes the first move, would you initiate it?

As for me , I’ve decided that I will no longer dwell over this kissing thing.

A first kiss should be and with someone special because it will either be a moment I will cherish or regret forever , and I definitely want “That Thing” Josie was talking about. (I can just see Mr. Dotsson’s eyes rolling at me now !!)

I’ve waited this long so I think I’m just gonna wait it out a bit more till I find my “Thing Man”… Ok that sound creepy !

Or till the Hottie from my previous "What If" post comes a long :P

2007-08-15T15:06:00.000+04:00

What If !

Have you ever had one of those "What If" moments, What would my life be like if?

I find myself asking "What If" questions all the time.

- "What If" I had answered the stupid question when the “The Ass” my x gave me the ultimatum 6 years ago “either answer the question or we are threw ” and I opted not to?

- "What If" I took a risk and agreed to sneak out of my hotel room @ 3:00 AM and went out with the hottest male specimen I’ve ever been acquainted with when he asked me to?

- "What If" when I actually went out with the hotti on a date, we didn’t get interrupted by my stupid idiot of a sister who needed us to pick her up to go back to the hotel together cus she got scared alone late @ night, would’ve things ended on a sweeter note?

- "What If" while I was saying goodbye to “The Crush” when he went off to grad school, our idiot friend didn’t tag along and refuse to leave until I left with him, what if we told him to buzz off , would we have had our proper goodbye?

- "What If" I wasn’t so rigid and had agreed to go to the party with hot Bahraini dude before we both left on vacation and lost touch, would we have had something ?

- "What If" I had giving the most direct and go getting dude I’ve ever met in Dubai a chance and wasn’t a total Bitch to him and didn’t tell him after 5 minutes on the phone after I went back to Saudi that I didn’t want to get to know him, what if I wasn’t even harsher when he called me up again a month later telling me that he had a dream that we were meant to be together ?

- "What If" I would’ve said yes when "The Stalker" proposed, would we have actually gone through with it?

- "What If" I explored the "What If" scenario with "Asswipe", would we have ended up as soul mates or would've I lost the man that understands me the most in this life ?

- "What If" I had agreed to switch schools in Junior high, would’ve I had the friends I am so blessed to have now ?

- "What If" I didn’t go off to college and stayed here in Saudi like the rest of the girls, would’ve I ended up the person that I am today?

- "What If" I didn’t hangout with that distracting gal my first semester in college , would’ve I not failed my math exam?

- "What If" I majored in something different?

- "What If" I didn’t settle for my safe job and went after my passion?

- "What If" I had never had my first spoon of Nutella when I was younger and didn’t become this addicted, would have my hips been better off?

- "What If" I publish this blog , would anyone actually pay to read it ?

- What If, What If , What If , What If ........?

The "What If" question is embedded in our inevitably peculiar natures, we as humans just can’t help ourselves. We wander because we are curious, not necessarily because we are not content with how our lives turned out or because we regret some of our actions although we might. (I definitely regret what if number 2 , Maaaaaaamemya , hot is an understatement) !!!

All our actions, choices, fortunes and mishaps help us grow and learn and become the people we are today. Cliché I know but so true !!

This What if talk reminds me of a very nice Gwyneth Paltrow Movie “ Sliding Doors” , a movie about how simple actions could change our world.

It follows the life of Helen (Paltrow), who is fired from her public relations job. The film's plot splits into two parallel universes which run in tandem. She heads down to the Underground to catch the train to take her back to her apartment. But as she runs down, we suddenly see her life split off. In one version, she catches the train and in the second, she misses it. Throughout the rest of the film we see what would have happened in each scenario. Her whole life changes in that split second. In the former, she gets home in time to catch her boyfriend (Lynch) in flagrante delicto with his ex-girlfriend (Tripplehorn); she promptly dumps him, and meets (and falls in love with) a new man (Hannah). In the latter, she carries on oblivious in a miserable relationship after arriving home after her boyfriend's lover has left.

Towards the end of both scenarios, she discovers she is pregnant with her respective partner's baby. In both timelines, she ends up in near-fatal accidents, gets taken to the hospital and loses her baby. In the scenario in which she catches the train, she dies in the arms of her newfound love. In the alternate scenario, Helen (knowing that her boyfriend has gotten his lover pregnant) tells him to leave her alone for good and while leaving the hospital runs into her alternate scenario's love interest, leaving the audience to speculate about the outcome of their meeting. (movie description taken from Wikipedia)

There are hundreds of life questions that we could spend our time contemplating but the simple truth is that our lives are what they are, and they are an evolving, dynamic and mysterious process.

If we had selected a different career maybe you would have ended up with someone else, living in another country and would have been better or worse off, but at the end of the day , I believe that the major things in our lives would’ve ended up the same regardless of what path we choose “ all roads lead to roam”.

I’m a very spiritual person and I believe in destiny, that however, doesn’t mean that I don’t think we are liable for our actions and that our lives are just pre-written scenarios that we act out for the amusement of God!
I believe our lives are of our own doing, but the major things that happen to us will happen regardless of what path we choose. In the movie , Gwyneth leads separate lives but at the end both roads led to the same ending .

In conclusion, what matters the most in life isn’t what happens to us @ the end of the road because that is mostly something that is out of our hands and control. Life is about our journey and the road we choose to travel in to get to our destinations.

So the next time you ask your self "What If" , draft out the scenario and then decide whether or not you would have been better off.

P.S checkout this website http://www.flipflopflyin.com/whatif/ . It’s about a guy that actually drafted out different scenarios of how his life would have turned out had he done things differently, utterly brilliant my darlings ☺

2007-08-08T01:25:00.000+04:00

Economies Of Love

Prerequisites to the post: Loveagerial economics 101

I’m in a geeky mood so bare with me guys !

My last post was about marketing and if it was a bit too challenging for some of you, don’t worry cuz this one is a bit easier :P

Are you guys familiar with a reality show called “The Perfect Bride” ? if no, an explanation will follow , if yes and you aren’t a fan I applaud you, and if you are indeed a fan like the majority of the people in the Middle East are, then I ask you this

“WHYYYYYYYYY” ?

It’s a demeaning, boring and a revolting show about a bunch of girls looking for “Mr. Right” and a bunch of guys accompanied by their moms looking for the “Girl of their Dreams” translation, A girl mommy approves of!

Everyone in the region was mesmerized by the show and the romance that was blossoming in front of their eyes . I on the other hand couldn’t believe what I was watching.

SERIOUSLY, GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

If I hear the idiot and painfully boring yet very hot Bassilito tell his “future wife and the winner of the show” Patty that he loves her one more time , I’m gonna drag his heart out of his ass with a spooooooooooon (mental picture anyone) !!!!!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for romance and love but what I was watching wasn’t love, it was a facade and a display of cheesy vocabulary!

My idea of romance doesn’t involve someone telling me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me every five minutes. Love is about actions not words.

A caring person is a person who leaves you caramels on ur table in the library when your not looking or finds you a bar of galaxy in a country that doesn’t sell it or simply brings you and your friends ice cream to your office when you are pissed ( damn all the sweet things I remember involve sweets , literally , INTERVENTION PEOPLE !!!)

Again , love isn’t about words even though, words play a big part in it when they aren’t overused to a point where they loose their essence and meaning . After all, too much of something is just as useless as the lack of it.

Just like Marketing, economics plays a big part in our day to day lives and in this post I will try to apply popular economical theories to the matters of the heart .

1- Economies of Scale :

A production process in which an increase in the scale of the firm causes a decrease in the long run average cost of each unit.

Comparably,

Economies of the heart :

When a person says I love you for the first time , it means the world to the other person but the more that person says it, the more it looses it’s value, pizazz and butterfly tingly feeling.

just like a jar of Nutella , the first few spoons of it are absolutely mind bogglingly orgazmic but if you over do it , u start to loose your sense of taste and end up getting nauseated by it. So do yourself and your partner a favor and don’t abuse the word to a point where it stops meaning anything.

2- Supply and demand of affection

When the supply of affection is relatively limited (not to a point where you start seeking alternatives) and the demand for it is high the value of it increases and vice versa.

So if your partner is a person that loves gifts , sweet talk and surprises , keep them wanting more and don’t over shower them with what they seek so when you do actually do nice things for them , it means something and they cherish it :)

In conclusion , “ideally”, a balance of affection is needed to sustain a positive value in the love scale.

Ideally being the key word but who are we kidding ?!!

Balance and a state of equilibrium is an objective that is very difficult to realize but we have to try our best obtain it. However, we always end up either being the person that gives or receives more in the relationship , it’s just an unavoidable conundrum.

Which brings me to my question:

In relationships , if a balance is impossible to achieve ,would you rather be the "net importer" or the "net exporter" in the relationship?

A Net Importer is a person that receives or imports more than he/ she gives or exports and a Net Exporter is the opposite of that.

In Real life , countries strive for a trade surplus and to become net exporters but in relationships its a whole other ball game .

So tell me , would you rather be the giver or the receiver in the relationship if you had to choose one or the other and please elaborate why?

2007-07-28T18:37:00.000+04:00

Cut The Cheese!

I smell cheese, do you smell cheese?

A phrase I picked up from “The Crush”

Well TC and my readers, for a person that doesn’t usually do cheesy, I think I’ve done a lifetime of it in my past three posts, I even think I’ve developed high cholesterol from all that cheese!!!

Lame I know , I just couldn’t help myself !!!

“Be that as it may”, Fear not my readers for this is a fat free dariyless post :)

A couple of my friends were recently approached by suitors who they don’t know anything about (AKA Zawaj salonat , translation living room marriage)
Obviously, none of them said yes and one even refused to meet the dude in general.

Just to clarify , this isn’t a post about Arranged marriages and how cruel they are , cus honestly , they no longer happen like they used to and nobody is being forced into anything!!
Basically, it kinda works like a blind date does , they meet if the girl is up for it and they either hit it off and take It from there or just part their ways.

However, in both cases the parents didn’t even know the dudes and didn’t know how they came to know about their girls. The parents asked but none of them got a straight answer!

Frustrating for real !

the girls wouldn’t push to find out cus they weren’t interested to know , I on the other hand being the noooooooosy curious person that I am, i was dying to know !
This is crucial information that can be used for the betterment of all man kind PEOPLE.

It can be used to prepare our Self Marketing Plan “SMP”.

Being the generous and wise gal that I am , I will utilize my massive brain power and over priced education to help you my loyal readers prepare your SMPs and land yourself the lad or gal /job or promotion you’ve been pining over :)

An SMP: outlines the specific actions you intend to carry out to interest ur potential love candidates, employers or anyone you wanna win over in your product and/or service ( you in this case) and persuade them to buy the product and/or services you offer. Crap I sound like a pimp !!!!!

Marketing is a huge part of our lives and we subconsciously market ourselves everyday with the way we carry and present ourselves to the world. Landing our dream significant other or job is about convincing that party of how amazing, brilliant, witty and pretty and oh so nice we are :)

To do this we need a strategic and personalized marketing plan that highlights are positives and conceals our shortcomings. In effect, we have to develop a walking, talking advertisement of ourselves, one that says “I’m the shit”

What I’m gonna attempt to do in this post is to help you be aware of what it is that you are after and teach you how to effectively utilize the tools under ur disposal and market yourself to get it : )

Simple enough, now follow the instructions below and you will have your SMP ready to for execution in no time :D ( bank details available upon request! )

Step 1 : Purpose and Mission

1- Purpose of the Marketing Plan

Offer brief explanation for why this plan was produced
e.g., land the most eligible bachelor in my town or seduce the fucker who broke
my best friend’s heart and dump his ass !

2- Mission of the Marketing Plan

Draft your mission statement
e.g, to be successful , skinny and hot and married to a yummy eye candy with x
number of children by the age of 35.

Step 2 : Situational Analysis & Marketing Research

The first rule while conducting your market research is for you to know how your target in the case of my friends’ suitors, to know how they found out about them . Referral, word of mouth, media, work, facebook, party…etc
How are we suppose to channel our limited resources where they count if we don’t know where that is???!!!

1- Product Attributes

e.g , I’m a 28 year old male , with a B.C. from Harvard University working as a consultant in a General contracting firm , I’m 6’1 , tanned, medium built , extremely adventures and funny….. you get the drift

2- Target Market

Females or Males (not my place to judge !) between the ages of 22-32 , curvy , with curly brown hair and with a mole 5.3 CM above her lip from the right side with a circumference of X ( You never know !!!! )

3- Distribution

e.g I’m currently available in city X but frequent city Y and planning on moving to city H ( why doesn’t anyone ever say H???? )
you will finde me 3 times a week in the gym Bottylesious ( ya right !!)

4- Competitors

e.g. All teenage brats who are willing to do whatever the dude wants and still haven’t been visited by the devil called “GRAVITY”

5- Financials
e.g I am very hard to get and have expensive taste or French fries and a movie or I’m easy and I have no standards, hell I’ll even pay u !!!!

6- Environmental Problems and Opportunities

e.g I live in Saudi Arabia ( need I say more !!!!)
7- SWOT Analysis
Strengths : I’m loaded ( not gonna say in which department !)
Weaknesses: I’m a hairy Ape!
Opportunities: I just joined a gym
Threats: GRAVITY !!!!

Step 3 : Marketing Strategy and Objectives

1. Marketing Strategy

Market growth: I will frequent more parties and more social events and attempt to infiltrate new social circles while maintaining good connections with my existing ones

Cost control: I will utilize me limited resources ( not the hottest , smartest girl on
the block) the best way possible like becoming stylish and working on my
personality !

2. Financial Objectives

I will get the job , gal/lad that will make me super rich or happy : )

3. Marketing Objectives
To be the least rejected bloke amongst my friends

Step 4: Tactical Marketing Programs

This is the heart of the marketing plan. It contains descriptions of detailed tactics to be carried out to achieve the objectives and goals established in Step 3.
e.g I will become friends with person x who is friends with person Y who is the brother of my McSteamy ( yup I’m a McSteamy gal not a McDreamy one !!!)

this part also has the product positioning :
I wanna be positioned as an adventures wild gal that’s not the easiest to approach but well worth the effort !

Step 5: Budgeting, Performance Analysis and Implementation

Prepare the marketing budget ,
Stylish wardrobe: $
Regular Manicures and Facials: $
Lipo and plastic surgery: $
Girl Magnet car: $$$
Sence of Humor : Priceless : )

There you go folks , I have equiped you with the tools and knowledge to achieve miracles ( can’t stop singing , I believe in miracles……. )

Think positively and the world is yours for the taking : )

2007-07-21T01:11:00.000+04:00

C ya Later ...

By now , you'd be on a plane leaving ur past behind u and ur future awaiting u.
i wish u didn't have to leave
i wish we had more time
i wish we had said more
i wish we had said goodbye :(

Although i wish more things would have been said , i don't know what to say right now and i have all the time in the world !!!
i'm lost for words, so instead i dedicate the following 2 songs to u cus they sum up everything that's bottled up inside of me right now !

I'm a Big Big Girl By: Emilia

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
Miss you much...
I can see the first leaf falling
It's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
Like the way I'm feeling inside

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
Miss you much...

Outside it's now raining
And tears are falling from my eyes
Why did it have to happen
Why did it all have to end

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
Miss you much...

I have your arms around me ooooh like fire
But when I open my eyes
You're gone...

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
Miss you much...

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do feel I will miss you much
Miss you much...

Big Girls Don't Cry
By:Fergie

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
La Da Da Da Da Da

I know i promised my self i wouldn't cry but after reading the words you left me from your diary , how can i not :(

Thank you for trusting me with that special piece of you and now know not hope that i realize how special i am in urlife and i in turn hope u realize how special you are in mine.

like u told me before u left, i will not say goodbye cus i have a feeling that this isn't an internal ending of "me and you" not that we ever were !!!

C ya later TC :)

2007-07-17T15:52:00.000+04:00

A few Good Men

Disclaimer: The following post is cheesy, nauseating and stomach turning, PREPARE you’re puke bags PEOPLE!!! (Mental picture anyone!!!! )

I’m writing this post with a beautiful mental picture of old Tom Cruise in my head , u know the hotti Tommy we all used to love, drool and swoon over : ) , the pre-psycho freak, pillow molesting , fake grin and over joyful Tom !!!

Yaaaaa, that’s the one I’m talking about gals, and mamamia what a mental picture it is ;)

If you can't tell by now from my previous posts what a movieholic urs truly is, and how obsessed I am with movie lines, then I’m sorry my loyal reader , you don’t know me at all ( can’t stop singing , if you don’t know me by now …you will never ever know me …!!!)

Ya , ya musicholic as well….. Sue me !!!

A Few Good Men , I’m sure most of you have seen it , and for the rest of you who haven’t , pick it up cus it’s a must : )

It has one of my favorite movie lines of all time

Jessep (AKA jack Nicholson) : You want answers?

Kaffee (AKA Yummy Tommy): I think I'm entitled to them.

Jessep: You want answers?

Kaffee: I want the truth!

Jessep: You can't handle the truth!

Absolutely priceless : )

The truth my loyal reader is that I am a very blessed person, thank God. I am blessed with faith, health, security , family and with amazing friends. All of which, I am truly grateful for, but I dedicate this post to the 3 men I currently value most in this world.
My boys , this is for you : ) ( a three men and a lady tissue draining moment :P )

My Dad:

Inspiring is the first word that comes to mind when I think of you. You are truly a character anyone would look up to.

You built yourself from scratch and you hold yourself with class, I love you as much as a girl can love her dad and tad bit more.

You’re a gentle, wise, understanding, tolerating, generous and motivating act that’s very tough to follow!!

So I blame you for my “singleness” because everyone around me is always being compared to you! ( and yes according to my dictionary “singleness” is a word , DC’s personal dictionary a post for another day )

We weren’t that close when I was younger but I’m glad I took the time to get to know you now and appreciate you for the wonderful person that you truly are.

For the most generous and giving person I know, who never left me a chance to ask for anything, Thank you for making me feel , loved , appreciated, wanted and secure ,

Baba , I love you :)

My best friend ( AKA Asswipe):

Special is the first word that comes to mind when I think of you.
You are truly a friend I’m ever so blessed to have in my life.

Little did I know 8 years ago that the dork that introduced himself to me in class would end up being the wall I always lean on.

Thank you for keeping up with my diva like behavior all these years and for always having my back.

Thank you for giving me your shoulder to cry on when I was down, thank you for giving me the dolphin ornament to show me that life could still be beautiful after I thought it wouldn't, thank you for threatening all the jerks who hurt me in the past.

Thank you for always making feel like the most beautiful girl in the world :)

I still have the message you sent me when I was all depressed and calling you in the wee hours of the morning to tell you that I have a volcano for a zit and that I have to go to a wedding the next day

I saved your message and I always read it when I’m not feeling so confident :)

“ even with the mountain of gou your gorgeous in my eyes”

The relationship we have can’t be defined nor labeled because it transcends any boundaries or definitions.

You’re my brother, sister, lover and friend all rolled into one and I thank god for bringing you into my life :)

Asswipe, I love you :)

My not so platonic friend ( AKA The Crush):

Alive is the first word that comes to mind when I think of you.
You are truly a breath of fresh air and I’m glad you came into my life even if was for a very brief time.

Even though, I am sad to see you leave and I am sad that we will never have the chance to explore the “what if” in this “not relationship”, I’m glad I got to know you, You have left a mark that is very hard to erase.

A commenter (shale of Agnon) said something that really struck a cord with me last post (life is a bitch)

“finding someone you like this much just shows you that you can find someone you like this much , and in that way it is a beautiful thing, although painful , I know. Do not worry though, for if there were but one person for all of us, then the human race would have died out of loneliness or unhappiness millennia go"

You have restored something in me I thought had died a long time ago. The past few weeks have showed me that underneath my cynical persona is a girl that has emotions and that is still capable of giving and that I am not all dead from inside like I once thought I was.

You helped unleash the girl in me that longs to feel, longs to care , longs to give and longs to love and be loved back on day.

The Crush, I thank you :)

Baba, Asswipe and TC ,
I thank you all for being you and for letting me be me.
I thank you all for loving me and for letting me love you back.

Most importantly, I thank you all for letting me love me !

p.s can I have a tissue now ( told u this was as cheesy as cheesy gets, excuse me while I go kill myself now !!! )

2007-07-09T11:32:00.004+04:00

Life is a Bitch !!!

Hello people,

I know I’ve been distant recently but I had my reasons ,

Work , exams and wait for it , wait for it , are u waiting? ….. keep waiting…

I’m "IN CRUSH" with someone. !!! yup ur cynical Dazed and Confused has found someone she is interested in and thinks is interested in her :)

He even meets most of the list I posted in my “Left in the middle” post and more

1- I’m sucker for humor so I’m looking for a funny guy but not the big look at me HAHA funny, I’m talking about the sarcastic kind

- the dude is as hilarious as they get , he’s big funny and sarcastic funny all rolled into one , I just can’t stop laughing when I’m around him.

2- I ‘m looking for a smart guy that knows he’s smart and doesn’t take it for granted. A guy that knows what he wants and goes for it

- When I first met him “idiot” is the word that came to mind, I still think he is and I tell him that I think he is but he says it’s my way of saying I care !!!!!
but under all this idiocy is a very smart dude who has a very bright future in front of him and when I say bright I mean “diamond blinding bright” :P

3- Whoever said looks don’t count surely wasn’t talking about me! I tend to go for the hot guys. I know I’m shallow but I honestly can’t help it!
When u see these gorgeous guys walking hand in hand with girls that aren’t as good looking and u start wondering what the guy is doing with her, what’s so special about her… well I wanna be one of those girls ( I know , I feel sorry for my self sometimes)!!!!!!!!!!!!
My friends keep pointing out how idiotic that is of me, you gotta be the better looking one in the relationship. Fuck No; if I’m gonna be waking up to the same face everyday, it sure as hell better be a good one, seriously!

- in this department , he’s not what I usually go for at all and that’s a shocker for me. The dude is cute but not the super hot type that usually catches my eye but he has something to make up for it. The dude is RIPPED Yall , black belt, enough said I think :)

4- I’m looking for a guy who has faith, a guy that prays 5 times a day, doesn’t drink, gamble or smoke

- has faith , prays (i hope), doesn’t drink, plays kiddi poker and only smokes shisha which is something I don’t mind.

5- I’m looking for a guy that loves to go out party and dance the night a way (preferably a salsa and meringue fan :))

- the dude can’t hear music without getting up and dancing like the complete idiot that he is , he just goes crazy and doesn’t care what people think ( the male version of me in that department) oh and he’s willing to learn Salsa and Meringue ;)

6- I’m looking for a stylish guy that loves fashion and is secure enough with his sexuality to flaunt it.

- this is a tricky one , he’s an ok dresser , very sporty cus he’s a sports junkie and keeps making fun of guys who “overdress” but he did ask me to go shopping with him so maybe there still is hope !

7- Last but not least, I’m looking for a virgin, yes a virgin I said it and if that’s impossible to find these days then I’ll settle for guy that honestly doesn’t expect me to be one.
I’ll be dammed if I allow myself to end up with a guy that expects of me what he isn’t willing to do or give himself.
If Johnny wants to do some shopping he shouldn’t expect Frany to be closed for business!!

- still remains a mystery to me but I doubt this dude has had any!!!! (mystery solved btw but i won't tell !!)

8- Now for the best part that wasn’t even included in my list. He’s as adventures as it gets. He loves to go on adventure trips and that’s a dream come true for me so I’m sure it’s all gonna be a thrill with him :)

he’s even done quite a bit of the things in my 101 "Things To Do Before I Die" post, I’m SOOOOO JEALOUS !!!!!

The one’s that I do know off:

- Drive in Saudi Arabia ( ya ya , laim I know but it counts)
- Exercise on a regular basis ( RIPPED PEOPLE)
- Get stoned (not a smoker but has tried it and he recommended it)
- Go camping in the desert and the beach
- Go on a Safari
- Learn how to play baloot, chess and poker (I don’t know about chess but he’s good
in the other 2)
- Ride the subway for an entire day aimlessly and discover new
places
- Sky Dive
- Spend an entire day as a man and see if I can actually get away with it (couldn’t help
myself, it counts too !!!)
- Swim with sharks (he has pics to prove it )
- White river rafting (not sure if it was white river)
- Scuba dive the Barrier Reef (certified diver)
- bungee, para gliding and the list goes on and on …

perfect for me wouldn’t u say ? :)

Now wait for the catch , wait for it , wait for it…… are u waiting ????

He’s leaving in 10 days for 4 FREAKING years and no not to do his undergrad (I’m not a pedophile people !!!)

I think that’s why none of us are inclined to do anything cus what’s the point really !!!

U know when u know that the person likes u and u know that they know that u know that they like u, and he knows that you like him and you know that he knows that you like him and that he knows that you know that he knows that you like him and everyone around u knows it too but everything is unspoken!! (the revenge of the Knows :P )

Life is a bitch for real but what’s a girl to do :(

I honestly, don’t believe in long distance relationships and I don’t do them. I’m a firm believer in the Arabic saying “ be3eed 3an el3een b3eed 3an el 2alb” translation “ Far from the eyes, far from the heart”.

I believe that long distance relationships never work so why would I wanna put myself through that misery?!!

The only time these relationships do work is when the couple has a very strong base which me and "The Crush" don’t have.

I only met him a few month ago and even though we’ve been hanging out as a big group a lot lately we only started getting close last month and now he is leaving :(

I’m off to grad school next year and he’s trying to convince me to go where he is but that’s pretty unlikely and I’m not the type of girl that thinks with her heart and ignores her brain so that’s not gonna happen!!

So I think this chapter is just gonna have to come to an end and the “What If” will never materialize to “Was” or “Will Be”

can I hear an ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!! : (

p.s i forgot to add a funny fact , i was calling Mr. Stalker from the "Closure part 1" post to wish him a happy birthday on the weekend and when i told him that i'm going to grad school next year he started convincing me to apply to the school "The Crush" is going to cus it's very close to where he is ..... imagine the drama then !!!!

2007-07-01T19:58:00.000+04:00

BACK OFF! I’m IMSing and it’s bad!
BE AFRAID ….BE VERY AFRAID

Please, God, spare the people around me the wretchedness that is me , spare them the heartache , verbal and physical abuse I am plotting against them , protect their bodies from my fists , knees, heels and nails, protect their ears from all the vicious and unconscionably vindictive things I’m about to say to them.

Please god reconnect the link that is missing between my brain and my mouth, please give me the strength and patience to count to 10 before I utter a word, especially now !!

God, please tie my tong in a double scout’s knot before I tell my friends what idiots I think they are, even if they truly are.!!!

God have mercy on the souls of the people around me cus this is gonna be BAD (can’t stop singing … you know I’m bad , I’m bad , u know it ….. can I hear a Heeeeehe :P ).

One more thing, please God make me McSkinny and McSexy and send McHotti my way while your at it :D

It’s that time of the month again !!!!

I’m sure that’s what going on in ur mind.

What if I were to tell you that this could be the words of guy IMSing …… Yes people , it’s True Males PMS too and it’s called IMS (irritable male syndrome).

I was talking to a guy friend of mine the other day who is usually a very calm person that doesn’t have a care in the world, all of a sudden he started snapping at everything and everyone for no particular reason, I was like dude seriously what’s wrong with u , is it that time of the month again???!

I started noticing more guys with these symptoms so I did what I always do “I LOOKED IT UP” ☺

I was shocked to find out that males too PMS , actually IMS !!!

Irritable Male Syndrome: A state of hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger that occurs in males and is associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and loss of male identity.

Men have hormone problems just like women," declares Cindy Esterly, a certified aerobics trainer in Phoenix, who often lectures on how men and women can better manage their hormones.

Indeed, Gerald A. Lincoln, a researcher at the Medical Research Council's Human Reproductive Sciences Unit in Edinburgh, Scotland, recently coined the term "irritable male syndrome" (IMS) to mirror the infamous PMS in women. Lincoln says these hormone imbalances go far beyond the now recognized "male menopause" and can manifest at any time in life. ( Male menopause a topic for another day !)

"Men's hormones pulsate hourly, compared with every 28 days for women, " confirms Larrian Gillespie, MD, a retired Southern California urologist and author of The Gladiator Diet: How to Preserve Peak Health, Sexual Energy, and A Strong Body at Any Age.

Irritability-anxiety-depression syndromes associated with withdrawal of sex steroid hormones are well recognized in the female," Lincoln notes in his study, which appeared in Reproduction, Fertility and Development. "The occurrence of a potentially similar behavioral syndrome following withdrawal of testosterone has received less attention."

Obviously, such declines in testosterone can be predicted after prostate surgery. But according to Gillespie and Esterly, they can occur at any time in any male as a result of diet, environmental factors, or stress. "[Or] you can have a normal testosterone level and elevated estradiol -- the usable form of the so-called "female" hormone estrogen," points out Gillespie.

What are the symptom of IMS ?

exhaustion, unexplained weight changes, frequent urination, gallbladder or gut problems, hypoglycemia, snoring, incontinence, an elevated PSA , high cholesterol, bone loss, hair loss (besides male pattern), impaired thyroid function, loss of muscle or stamina, skin problems, softer erections -- and irritability. "Many of these men are overweight," Gillespie notes, and fat harbors estrogen.

Do all men get IMS at some point?

No. Four factors come together to produce IMS. All males go through adolescence and have brain and physical and hormonal changes, and they will get irritable—same with midlife and male menopause. But some go through it relatively easily while others have major changes. What determines that is a mixture of hormonal changes—some have more than others—changes in brain chemistry, stress levels and loss of male identity.

So Gals , the next time you see a guy lashing at you for no particular reason , give him a break , BACK OFF cus he just might be IMSing …..

Guys, welcome to the club !!!! :P NYAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH

P.S guys follow the following link http://theirreitablemale.com/quiz.htmto take the IMS quiz, u never know , u might just have it!!!

2007-06-12T10:24:00.000+04:00

The Thrill of the Chase

Do you remember that feeling of just meeting someone your interested in?

The thrill and the rush of the unknown and exploring something new . The quivers and butterflies in your stomach, the constant wondering and over analyzing of every single detail and move, wondering if his/her words have any hidden agendas and what exactly each look meant. (I can see the smiles on your faces already, no denying that ☺ )

Your exited, anxious and optimistic yet worried that maybe it’s an illusion and that you're kidding yourself and really nothing is ever going to happen between you and this person, but the feeling is so good that u can’t help but get carried away.

You start playing the Tom & Jerry game with each other, and each player’s role in the game (Chaser or Chasse) is defined from the get go.
Generally speaking, guys usually do most of the chasing and girls are on the other spectrum of the equation (I emphasize the “generally” here).

This game as is the case with most games is very thrilling, that’s why they call it the “Thrill of the Chase” after all.
Something to spice up the relationship perusal and add a bit of zest into it. (game night anyone ?!)

Both parties enjoy the “Thrill of the Chase” regardless of what anyone says.
The party being chased obviously enjoys the attention and is flattered by the idea that he/she is desired and perused unless he/she is being perused by a person whom he/she will NEVER , EVER, IN A MILLION YEARS be interested in. ( the he/she thing is bothering me….. from now on he/she will be referred to as hehs , cus u can read it’s he from left to right and she from right to left ☺ !!!! )

The party that is doing the chasing on the other hand loves the thrill of testing hehs skills and charm. so it’s a win win situation till it gets old and boring.

At this stage , gals and lads tend to have different approaches to the game . Girls like to move on and grow the relationship if they are interested whereas most guys like to move on , FULL STOP.

Guys will chase you , chase you not necessarily because they like you, but because they like the chase, the ability to improve their hunting skills and to prove to themselves and the people around them how good of hunters they are and how proud their ancestors would be of their skills . They will chase you till they know they’ve got you, then most just loose interest!

When you want them to leave you alone, they peruse you more vigorously, when you want them to be around, they float away!!!!

I’m not saying that this is always the case, or that guys loose interest after they chase you because they are jerks, it could be triggered by one of the following reasons:

1- They are all about the chase and that’s what they find exciting. So when they get
what they want the game ends to them, they won and it’s no longer fun.

Just like a Nintendo game, they would keep playing it and playing it ,day and night
obsessing over it till they finish the game . After they finish the game, it looses its
excitement factor and they move on to a “better” more challenging game to
re-explore, and the cycle continues.

2- The game take way too long, it’s too difficult for them and they aren’t sure that they
have what it takes to finish it. Or maybe they don’t believe that the end result is
worth all this hassle.

3- Once they do get to the end result they don’t really like what they see. The finish
line was so hyped up in their minds that they get disappointed once they reach it.

I gave this “Thrill of the Chase” game a bit of thought and I came up with the following theory.

When it come to relationships and dating, girls deploy the shopping mechanism while guys apply the Soccer or Football mechanism.

Please allow me to elaborate ☺

Shopping Mechanism:

Most girls don’t like to stay still in one place or phase in our lives for too long. We like to evolve grow and flourish, we aren’t really the content and happy with what we’ve got kind.

When we go shopping, we hit a store, explore it , get everything we need from it then move on to bigger and better stores. The more shopping we do the better we are in analyzing what stores are worth exploring cus we already know what we like and what looks best and works for us. We will occasionally step out of our comfort zone and shop @ a store that doesn’t fit the criteria of “ our style “, we either love it and add it to our list or cut our losses short and move on. When we find something we do like, we won’t always show interest to the salesperson. We will pretend that we are not that interested or that we need to think about it. Most of the time we know that we will eventually get it but we don’t wanna deal our cards all at once in hopes of getting the upper hand and scoring a discount or a freebie of some sort.

Soccer /Football Mechanism:

Men have been hunters since the beginning of time, they just can’t help themselves, it’s in their blood and since they don’t really get to unleash the hunting killers in themselves anymore, have channeled their energy towards sports. Sports that rely on hunting/ chasing more specifically. Soccer, basket ball, hockey, baseball … all the most popular sports are revolved around chasing a desired object.

They tend to approach everything as a football game including relationships.
They eye their object of affection “ the ball” and chase after it. They will do whatever it takes to get the ball, screw over the other team’s players, get the help from his own team mates, deploy masterful and well practiced tactics, learn new skills, anything is game as long as they get the ball @ the end of the day.

Once they do get it , they will maneuver a bit , take advantage of it's presence, take care and secure it until they do one of the following:

1- Toss it away because they aren’t ready or are too chicken shit to follow through
2- Some try to score but are totally off because they aren’t focused enough, or don’t
put enough thought and energy into it and end up loosing the ball.
3- Some rare skilled players follow through and take advantage of the ball. They make
the best of the situation and score their glorious goal.

In short, most guys are all about “The Thrill of the Chase”

2007-05-23T16:04:00.000+04:00

3arabja Anonymous® (3.A.)

Because the people around us have ears, eyes and upset stomachs !!!

Definition of a “3arbaji”: singular of “3arabja”, a person that lacks etiquette and has no manners or common courtesy.

Also known as Yobbo , Hooligan , Brute , Hoodlum, White Trash and Hillbilly (Westerners) , Bee2a (Egyptian) , Nawari , Sharashoo7, Hamaji and shala2 (Palestinians, Lebanese and Syrians), 63oos, Waraw, lu7aj and 3arbaja (Saudis) and Heelag (Kuwaitis)

3arabja Anonymous® is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from 3arabjanisim.

What is 3arabjanism?

3rabjanisim is recognized as a major social problem In the World, it is the third greatest killer of any decent person’s social life, after smelliness and wickdnastyness , and it does not damage the 3arabja alone. Others are hurt by its effects ;in the home, on the job, in restaurants, parks and malls and on the streets ,especially at traffic light stops !!!!

3rabjanisim is a serious problem, so whether or not you ever become a 3arbaji yourself, 3arabjanism still can have an impact on your life in general and on your social life more specifically.

We have learned a great deal about how to identify 3arabjanism. But so far no one has discovered a way to prevent it, because nobody knows exactly why some people who were brought up by decent people or who have the money to learn and are exposed to people with etiquette turn into 3arabja.

Doctors, scientists, teachers and socialites in the field have not agreed on the cause (or causes) of 3arabjanism. For that reason, 3.A. concentrates on helping those who are already 3arabja, so that they can stop their 3arbaji ways and learn how to live like normal, socially acceptable people who know how to behave like people and not like monkeys who scratch their butts whenever and wherever they please!!

What are the symptoms?

Not all 3arabjas have the same symptoms, but
many at different stages in the illness show some but not limited to these signs:

- Farting in public
- Burping in public
- Burping in public then saying excuse me ( it still doesn’t forgive the nasty act)
- Picking your nose
- Picking your ears with your pinky with the extremely long nail!!!
- Picking your teeth in public
- Sneezing or coughing without covering your nose
- Playing with your feet or toes
- Chewing food with your mouth full
- Speaking or laughing with your mouth full
- Making disgusting noises when you eat or drink
- Licking your fingers when your done eating
- Chewing gum with your mouth full
- Making noises with your gum and playing with it !
- Walking with your Thobe “ traditional attire” in your mouth
- Walking out of your house with boxers, Serwal “ what men wear under their Thobe” or Jalabiya “men night gown” or that strange skirt wrapping thingy some men wear to go out of your house even if it is just to throughout the trash !
- Wearing the hat under the shema3’”head scarf” alone or with the 3egal “ round black thing to hold the head scarf down”
- Wearing the Shema3’ or 7a66a without the 3egal
- Dancing like an idiot on traffic lights
- Turning right from the extreme left lane
- Cranking up your 3arbaji music in the car
- Sitting with your feet barefoot up next to the window
- Eating fis fis or Bezer “ some sort of nuts” in public and spitting the shell
- Throwing things on the street or from your window
- Scratching or touching yourself in public
- Making the snorting 7’’7’’ sound in the bathroom !!!
- Throwing tissues in the toilet
- Calling a female 7orma, Marra , Bitch , Whore or piece of ass !
- Taking off your shoes when you have smelly feet or dirty socks on
- Pushing people around without apologizing
- Cutting the line in a queue
- Taking someone’s chair when they get up
- Snapping your fingers to call someone
- Leaving your cell phone ringer on in meetings, lectures, movie theaters and in the library
- A swear word is syllabus as far as your concerned!!

How does 3.A. help the 3arabja?

Through the help of trained professionals and etiquette advisors and from the example and friendship of the recovered 3arbaja in 3.A. New members are also
encouraged to stay away from other 3arabja during the treatment duration.

They also have to go through the “Twelve Steps” to recovery program.
These Steps suggest ideas and actions that can guide 3arabja toward happy and socially acceptable behavior and lives.

The Twelve Steps of 3arabja Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over 3arbaja—that our lives had become classless
2. Came to believe that a Power and guidance classier than ourselves could restore us to class.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the hands of the professionals
4. Made a searching and fearless moral Inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have teachers and guiders remove all these defects of character and instill some etiquette in us
7. Humbly asked Him/her to remove our short- comings and teach us new tricks
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. (that could take a while we know !)
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. (ya don’t know how that works )
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted
it.
11. Sought through etiquette lessons to improve our conscious contact with other people and with ourselves
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this
message to 3arabjas, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

If you have a family member or a loved one that is suffering from this dreadful deseas don't hesitate to call us @ 1-800-3arabja-anonymous .

p.s. 3.A is now accepting sponsors and volunteers

2007-05-16T22:30:00.000+04:00

Fashion Forward ;)

I’ve just realized that this blog is missing some posts about fashion !!!!

What city would it be without fashion ??so I’m listing the top trends of this season, enjoy :)

Just remember that some trends are very difficult to pull off, so wear what works best for you and don’t forget to add your own touch of Pizzazz !!!

Clothing Trends
1- Mirror Shiny
2- Sequence
3- Bold Colors
4- Girly with a twist of naughty ;)
5- High-Waisted Pants
6- Eyelet Dresses ( The Material that has wholes in flowery shapes)
7- Shoulder-Baring Tops
8- Jumper Dresses
9- Mod Minidresses
10- Vests, suspenders and short cropped jackets
11- A touch of Jungle
12- Florals, strips and bold prints
13- Black & White
14- Shorts (hot shorts, skinny long shorts, wide leg shorts, they are in with all their
shapes and lengths). A pair of white shorts are a must if you can pull them off!
15- Leggings are still in but in patterns and bold colors
16- Bows & Ruffles

Jeans
1- Unfortunately skinny jeans are still in (unfortunately cus 99% of the people can’t
pull them off!!!)
2- Colored Jeans ( green , red , pink ……go crazy )
3- Wide leg jeans
4- White Jeans

Accessories
1- White sunglasses
2- A touch of Transparent ( bangles , belts , bags and shoes)
3- High waisted belts are still in and are wider than ever, ironically skinny belts are also in this season , try to wear a few skinny belts with different colors for a touchof uniqueness ☺
4- Bold silver and gold jewelry
5- Stacked Bangles
6- The elastic metal bracelets we used to wear a few dozen off a decade ago are back
YaaaaaaaaY :D

Shoes
1- Peep toe flats
2- Metallic flats
3- Jellies ( yes i'm serious!! )
4- Transparent
5- Shunky and wedge heels
6- Pantent , patent and more patent

Bags
1- Did I mention patent :P
2- White Bags with a hint of gold
3- Bold colors
4- The Bigger the Better but clutches and hand held bags are in as well
5- Metallics (preferably Silver)

Happy V. shopping everyone :) (click on the pics to enlarge)

Blue Fever

Mellow Yellow

Gold Digger $$$

The Silver Lining

It Don't Matter If You're Black & White...

Lady In Red

Pretty In Pink

Candy Land

Sugar & Spice

Born To Be Wiiiiiild !

P.S if you have any questions about any of the products i pictured feel free to ask, or if u have any fashion question for the matter ;)

Boys , sorry for the girly post but this is Saudi and the City after all ;)

2007-05-05T13:36:00.000+04:00

For Better or For Worse.... Until

Since my last post went okay, I think u guys are ready for another twisted post and a greater glimpse into how my freaky twisted mind works :)

I want you to close your eyes and relax for a minute. Now fast forward your life 10 years from now, what do you see?

Typically, you would say, I have a good job, a nice house/car and I’m happily married to a hot gal/guy and we have x number of beautiful children (can I hear an ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh )

What if that wasn’t the case, you have the career the spouse but God forbid a “CHILD FROM HELL” , what would you do ?!?!

Don’t bother with the “mother loves her child regardless and sees him/her as the most beautiful baby in the world” speech. I don’t buy that crap!!!!!!

If my kid is a but ugly ,nasty boring kid, BELIVE ME I’m gonna know. I’m not blind after all!!!!

A career I can always change, a nasty husband I can kick to the curve but kids don’t really come with a 30-day return /exchange policy!!!!

I’m gonna have to compliment my ugly kid on being cute but what do I do when someone comes to me and says oh wow ur kid is so cute???
Unfortunately, punching them in the face and saying don’t mock me u prick or what are you blind isn’t really an option.!!!

Am I gonna have to spend countless days and hours pretending to laugh at my kid’s stupid boring jokes and pretend that they are funny?!?!

We choose most of the people in our lives but some we are stuck with. Like parents or siblings we can’t stand and would never socialize with if we didn’t have to, but those too we could kinda dodge. Our kids however, we are stuck with for better or for worse. !!!!

So as psychodelic and superficial as the following question is gonna sound , I want you guys to humor me and answer it anyways.
IF your kid was boring, nasty and ugly. Do u think you would still love him/her?

2007-04-27T04:53:00.000+04:00

Curiosity Killed The Cat!

Dazed is back , Confused as ever but back to the city never the less :)

Disclaimer: The following post is twisted and contains some potentially damaging material and is only intended for my equally twisted minded readers. Continue with caution !!!!

You’re our own little Carrie a friend once told me. With all your men, questions and love for shoes and fashion.

Ironically, I’m writing this while watching the queen herself in action.
Just like her, I do have questions, quite a bit of them actually. I’m a very curious person, curious about everything, especially things that have to do with relationships and matters of the heart. Unfortunately, this curiosity gets the best of me!!!
Curiosity killed the cat after all! (Where did this phrase come from???)

Is it just me, or do u find females far more curious than males are????

Think about it, Adam was pretty content with his life on heaven and wasn’t planning on meddling around into forbidden grounds. On the other hand, Eve and her curious nature wanted to venture into the unknown and taste the “forbidden apple”.

As a daughter of Eve, my mind keeps venturing into strange places and I find myself having the strangest debates and conversations with people. The latest would be about monogamy and polygamy. I found myself asking the females around me the following question:
“If women were allowed to marry more than one man would u be a polygamist?”

I’m a person that doesn’t tolerate polygamist men and I’m not ok with the idea of a man marrying more than one lady, even if he had a valid reason. (for my non Muslim reader , look the reasons up or just ask me).

If god forbid, my future husband does it to me I would most likely just divorce his ass, kids or no kids and I sure as hell would never consider marrying a married man if my life depended on it!!!

But why is it that when the tables were turned, I pictured myself actually doing it ?!!!

Is it because us females think that most men are a bunch of dips shits that need to be treated as shit cus that’s what they are after all or am I just full of shit and would never actually do it??

Are we females just hypocrites that condemn men for their choices just because we don’t have the same options?

Honestly, the idea does seem tempting to me. I would marry a funny guy that makes me laugh all the time, a kind guy that treats me like the goddess that I actually am, a rich guy to make sure that I live a good life, a smart guy and a super hot one. Tall , short, dark and fair, I’ll get me one of each ….. Yummy Yummy!!!

Hypothetically, if I did have more than one husband, who would then be responsible for taking care of my children if I had any. Do they all stay with me and the dads come and visit them or do they stay with the dads and I just go and visit?
Who will be responsible for paying the household bills?
Can I handle more than one man, considering that men’s sex drives far outweigh that of women, how over sexed will I be???????
Finally, Do polygamists ever have threesomes??? (This one in particular I’m really curious about?? )

Now that u guys know how my twisted mind works, I’m curious to know what you guys (males and females) think??
The following questions are for my female readers?

1- Would u marry more than one man if u had the choice?
2- If Yes, why and if No , why not ?
3- If u fell in love with someone else while u were married would u divorce ur current
hubby and marry the second dude or would u keep both?
4- would u come clean and confess to ur current hubby if you married someone else?

The following questions are for my male readers?

1- If your wife married someone else while she was still married to you would you
stay with her or divorce her? (apply this scenario if u had kids or didn’t )
2- Would you consider marrying a married woman and being the 2nd, 3rd or 4th
husband?
3- If Yes, why and in No, why not?
4- Would u be the provider of the house and to your wife if you weren’t the only `
husband?

( refer to the comment section for my answers )

I TOLD YOU GUYS THIS POST IS TWISTED !!!

P.S “Curiosity killed the cat” – I looked it up and got the following:
The saying originally was “care kills a cat,” and began in the 16th century. “Care” was a warning that worry is bad for your health and can lead to an early grave; the phrase was a recognition that cats seem to be very cautious and careful. Over time, the word “care” evolved into “curiosity.”